The Black Curtain Club

Gods Gone Wild: The Dark Stories Behind Your Favorite Myths

The Black Curtain Club Season 1 Episode 14

Forget everything Disney taught you—mythology's original stories hit different. In this episode, we peel back the sanitized versions to reveal the raw, often disturbing truths behind the myths we thought we knew.

The gods of ancient pantheons weren't the benevolent figures often portrayed in modern media. They were deeply flawed, vengeful beings whose personal vendettas and petty squabbles had cosmic consequences. From the Titanomachy—where Zeus overthrew his father Kronos after Kronos had overthrown his own father—to the devastating Ragnarok of Norse mythology, these divine conflicts reflected the cyclical nature of trauma, violence, and power.

Perhaps most heartbreaking is Medusa's true story. Far from being born a monster, she was a devoted priestess violated by Poseidon in Athena's temple. Rather than receiving justice, she was transformed into a creature with serpent hair—not as punishment but as protection against further harm. When Perseus came to slay her, he wasn't hunting a monster but a survivor in isolation. Even after her death, her body was weaponized, denying her dignity even in death.

We also explore Hercules beyond the singing muses—a tragic figure whose incredible strength couldn't protect him from Hera's wrath. His famous twelve labors weren't heroic quests but punishment for killing his family during a madness sent by the goddess. Rather than confronting his trauma, he externalized it through increasingly spectacular feats that never addressed his internal wounds.

These myths aren't just ancient stories—they're reflections of human nature that continue to resonate today. They show us how power corrupts, how victims become villains in narratives controlled by the powerful, and how trauma repeats across generations when left unaddressed. By understanding these darker aspects of mythology, we gain insight into our own modern struggles with justice, power, and healing.

Subscribe to the Black Curtain Club for new episodes every Monday as we continue exploring the mysteries, monsters, and hidden meanings behind the stories that shaped our world.

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Speaker 1:

Before we begin today's episode of the Black Curtain Club podcast, we would like to share a quick disclaimer. The views, opinions and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own personal capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised.

Speaker 2:

Hello, you mythical monsters. It's us, your friendly neighborhood Black Curtain Club podcast. And this week you have me, becca, and you have Kyle, and we are talking about motherfucking mythology. Kyle, how the hell are you?

Speaker 3:

Uh, yes, did I get you fired up? You're just overwhelmed. Yes, so overwhelmed.

Speaker 2:

My whelms are over so basically, big sister becca has to pull kid brother kyle through the ringer to make sure he gets his baby podcaster wings but doesn't fly too close to the sun. So me and Kyle found common ground, basically through a mild obsession with mythology, and so for our first one-on-one recording, we're going to talk about some twisted tales from times of old. How do you feel?

Speaker 3:

I feel like a missed opportunity of making an Icarus reference about 13 seconds ago, but I love myths.

Speaker 2:

Do you feel like Icarus I?

Speaker 3:

really do? Do I feel like icarus? Do I feel?

Speaker 2:

like icarus, yeah absolutely not no, if you were to compare yourself to one myth before we jump into all of these, do you have one that speaks to you the most? Oh god, character or myth specifically yeah oh I'll say, for me, atlas, atlas is the one that, like the story of it and like you know, the symbology, the symbology Symbolism. I believe the symbolism.

Speaker 3:

Okay, Boondock Saints, you caught me there, oh man, what was the one where the guy pushes the rock up the hill? Forever and ever and ever and ever?

Speaker 2:

um, what's the name of that? Is it sisyphus?

Speaker 3:

sisyphus.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes I knew that name until you asked me that question, and then I just so I feel like um jason and the agronauts oh, jason and the argonauts. I was gonna say sisyphus and Atlas, Like we make quite a pair, you and I don't we? Oh, that's something you push big rock, I hold big rock.

Speaker 3:

Well, yeah, we just we rock and roll all day, yeah we rock all day long.

Speaker 2:

So the first one that I wanted to go into today is, I would say, like the genesis of Greek mythology. So it's the Titanomachy I don't know if I'm saying that word right. It's the big fancy book smart word for the civil war between the gods of the Greek pantheon. It's not just civil war. This is like Avengers Infinity War. All the good characters come together and they show us that even from the dawn of creation, daddy issues have had this planet in a chokehold. So it's Titans versus Olymplympians, father versus son, brother versus brother kyle, I'm gonna make sure you're paying attention. Do you know what the titanomaki is? Have you heard of it before? Yes, am I saying it right? I?

Speaker 3:

girl, come on do not ask me like pronunciation. Don't't ask me spellings. I apologize to anyone we're going to offend with how we're going to butcher names and references and just general vocabulary.

Speaker 2:

We have a drunk historian's enthusiasm for mythology. We are not scholars, by any means.

Speaker 3:

Can we do drunk history episode at some point?

Speaker 2:

I would love to do a Drunk History episode with you.

Speaker 3:

Oh my God, we will literally meet up at a bar and we'll live stream or something. We'll just get shithoused.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God. Peanuts on the floor, everything I want it so bad. Yes.

Speaker 3:

Yes, like a dive bar, like a shitty dive bar. We meet up somewhere and then just get annihilated.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to hold bar. We meet up somewhere and then just get annihilated. I'm gonna hold you to that, kyle. So to get back on track here yes, I'm getting way too excited, so this isn't like one of those stories, for one pantheon replaces another. This is god overthrowing god in a straight-up cage. Match the thunderdome but um, it's for cosmic balance essentially, essentially so where?

Speaker 1:

the.

Speaker 2:

Titans represented the chaotic, elemental forces of the world. The Olympians were fighting for structure, hierarchy, and you know what I'll say? It ego the battle of what was versus the battle of what will be. So it's where things get downright human. Basically, grandpappy Uranus has a bad millennium and trapped the children he fathered with Gaia.

Speaker 3:

Okay, are you talking about the Greek or the Roman? Because Uranus was Okay, so Uranus was the Roman name, kronos was the Greek name. Kronos. Okay so listen.

Speaker 2:

I'm talking about Kronos' father.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I still don't think that was Uranus because the I'm talking about Kronos' father. I still don't think that was Uranus because the I'm pretty sure it's Uranus, kyle.

Speaker 2:

I did the research. Okay, you know what? Becca's probably wrong, kyle's probably wrong. One of us is wrong. Either way, uranus gets overthrown by Kronos in my research okay, yes, yes basically, kronos didn't think it was very cool of his dad to do something like that, and so he castrated him.

Speaker 3:

I mean fair.

Speaker 2:

Look, we aren't gods. We aren't supposed to question their logic, but I'm feeling a bit judgmental. This is followed by a prophecy that Cronus' children will one day overthrow him. Being a level-headed individual, cronus swallows each of his children. His wife, rhea, is not stoked. She decides to pull a fast one and trick Cronus into swallowing a rock instead of the kid she had just had, and hides him on Crete. Spoiler alert this is our boy Zeus Rock. She's like I'm tired of pushing out these kids just into the chronos feeding machine.

Speaker 3:

it's just like straight straight into a meat grinder, just bam I don't know how big that rock must have been at least the size of a baby yeah, at least a child size no, no, yeah, no, you're right, it was was Uranus was the father of Kronos. Now that I'm thinking about it, oh see, thank you, I needed that.

Speaker 2:

You shook my self-confidence in the beginning.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, Saturn was the name of Kronos. That was my bad.

Speaker 2:

So, basically, this is a classic coming-of-age tale where we explore overthrowing daddy and making the same mistakes over and over again. Like I said, it's pretty mortal of them. What's different this time is, instead of one god trying to be main god zeus frees his siblings and they try to take over together, and this war lasts 10 years. Um, that alone says something 10 years as a cosmic generation. It's the changing of the guard that left scars over every layer of the universe. Zeus leveled the playing field by freeing a few baddies with the common enemy and fucking people over, which is pretty much the tips. It tips the behavior scale back towards godhood. If I'm honest, like it's, you know, they're more aligning with something a god would do than a human would do.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know.

Speaker 3:

Zeus and fucking that kind of goes hand in hand. So you know.

Speaker 2:

So here's where this is going to get me with names. He lets loose Cyclops and in the process he's given his Thunderbolts. This is his Thorn Mjolnir moment. His big He-Man energy comes out. He-man energy comes out. There's also Hecaton Kiaris. He's a hundred-handed giant, hurls mountains like snowballs. I don't want to say Hulk smash or clobber in time, but I mean I'm telling you it's Infinity War.

Speaker 3:

It's fairly close. Or is Infinity War this? Or is Infinity War this Myths, this, telling each other all the time.

Speaker 2:

And then we have atlas and epimetheus. This is um. This is where it gets me feeling blue. Their brothers divided by the conflict. Atlas sides with the titans and when they lose, zeus gives him the most brutal sentence ever, holding up the sky for eternity. Not just punishment, but isolation, immobilization and weight. Epimetheus, meanwhile, sides with the olympians. He avoids punishment, but he is the one who has to accept pandora, the vessel of human suffering yes, so he just opens the door to another cycle of pain, and it's just on a mortal level.

Speaker 2:

Um, one side crushed by the heavens, the other is tricked into ushering in all of the world's ills. There are no clean hands in divine war, so it's the aftermath that leads into. Like mythology as most people know it, it's not just the birth of the gods as we know them, it's the introductory course for generational trauma. Every generation of power thinks that it's the last. And for generation of generational trauma, every generation of power thinks that it's the last. And everyone rises to believe that it can do better.

Speaker 2:

Cronus was a tyrant because he feared becoming his father. Zeus became a tyrant trying not to become cronus. And it's cyclical tyranny masked as justice between grandpa uranus, cronus and zeus. It's like the wheel of trauma begins with our celestial bodies not getting hugged enough. And this war isn't just a clash of power. It's the world being carved into thrones zeus gets the sky, poseidon gets the sea, hades gets the underworld. Gaia never gets justice for all those kids she had that got. Eight, like the titans, are locked away in tartarus and everyone is seething with quiet resentment after this. This is when it gets so boppery right. This is when they stop being cosmic metaphors and become dysfunctional power families. They mirror us more than they lead us. What do you think about the titanomaki title?

Speaker 3:

that it sounds eerily like every thanksgiving at my parents house I I know, I know it's too close to home, aside from the baby eating, you know, aside from the baby eating.

Speaker 2:

Aside from the baby eating, Although if you had eggs that morning, you probably ate children right, I do not eat eggs, so there's that. I learned something new about you every day.

Speaker 3:

It's almost always food related, but I feel like you are much more well prepared. Like that was a legit like report and I just have like a storyteller.

Speaker 2:

I'm a storyteller.

Speaker 3:

I was gonna do this with my whole ass, like there's no half-assing this for me, but I mean never half-ass, two things, whole ass, one just the fact that you're sitting here listening to me validates the fuck out of me, so it's a greater reward yeah, no, I mean, I'm just going to like bro spark, note all my shit and you have like an entire report and like a powerpoint and like sites and references and like and I'm just like yo like ragnarok am I right?

Speaker 2:

please don't make me admit on the recording that I do not cite my sources.

Speaker 3:

I mean, you can just cut that out, right.

Speaker 2:

You do all the editing, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Okay, not science, but you know what I mean. Like yours sounds like a super like official report and I'm just like yo. There was people, they did things. Shit was crazy.

Speaker 2:

No, totally, I'm going to do my best not to sound like I stated. In that case, let me do mine, then you do yours, then mine, then you do yours, then I'll do one of mine, then you do yours, and we'll just like overlap them like that. It'll just be like big one, small one, big one, small one yeah, we'll definitely go with that one.

Speaker 3:

Because, yeah, because, like, what's funny is that the ace here in the vanar war is literally the same thing that you just said, just it's. It's this. It is literally the same thing, just norse which I think is perfect yes, I'm so excited I'm fired up about war right now.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I'm so excited I'm fired up about war right now. All right, lay it on me. Oh, it's my go, it's your turn. I just read kyle, you did just read kyle, I did okay.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think this is. This is the fun part, where we find out, um, at least anyone who gives a remote crap about mythology, and not just like one specific one. If you go and you learn different cultures, mythologies and their stories, you start to see an eerie amount of similarities, which we'll do our best not to go down that rabbit hole of why. I think that is, but I digress anywho. So, actually, kind of funny. She would start with the titan. I'm just gonna say titan, god war, uh, from greek mythology, because then it brings you to one of my favorite stories, oddly enough, the acer vanar war from norse mythology. The norse world is broken up into nine realms and I forget a lot of the middle ones there. But there is Asgard is the highest. Helheim is hell, the lowest, and at the dead center is Midgard, and I don't remember off the top of my head all the different levels of how they go, but there's like the Realm of the Elves. So that's Alfenheim, there's Jotunheim, a lot of Heims.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Heim, a lot of Heims, a lot of Heims. Yeah Heim, a lot of Heims.

Speaker 3:

A lot of Heimi. Heim. I'm realm, but either way, I'm Heim.

Speaker 3:

Each of them represent a different layer of the Tree of Life, so there was two sets of insanely strong beings, aka gods, the Aesir and the Vanar. The Aesir are, depending on which book you read and how it goes, those are the ascendant gods. If you will, we're talking Odin, heimdall, loki, thor, pretty much anyone that could be represented as a god of war or has a really short temper as to where the van are, are more of the creative side, more of the earth kind of bounded side. Let's think of it like sorcerers and druids, if you would for we've got our mage class, we've got no, all seriousness, complete seriousness.

Speaker 3:

So like the ace years were more of a magical power, so like, uh, knowledge and lightning and deep sight and foresight and frost and stuff, so things that are kind of mystical, as to where the Vanar were, the gods of fertility, the earth, the sky, the water, the elements elemental.

Speaker 3:

Elementals yes elemental, yes, celestials and elementals, okay, is kind of the easiest way to break them down. Lo and behold one of them not saying which kind of thought they were just better than the others because they have those physical war-like powers and tendencies, that conqueror spirit if you will. So they felt that they should be the ones in the Almighty's house. It goes little did they know? They bit off a lot more than they can chew, going up against the Vanar, and that there's much more love and respect that needed to be held for the elements and not just physical strength. So it's more or less like knowledge versus power, the pen and the sword.

Speaker 2:

Ooh, I love this.

Speaker 3:

The tale is old this time that's kind of. What sparked it is that the Aesirs felt that they should be the sole rulers and, like a lot of stories and myths, there's tellings and retellings and renames of this and renames of that, but the one that kind of goes through is that they're in a horrendously bloody stalemate. I don't even remember, I forget exactly how long it is, but there's a lot of f and zeros after the one of how many years this war went on for oh, no, yeah, I mean shattered the shattered the realms, shattered the cosmos, for however long broke the glass ceiling literally all of it broke the seal, broke the ceiling, all of it everything's just

Speaker 2:

pissing out into the into the universe, like cosmos, like they're equivalent to Pandora's box opening.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, literally that, Literally that. Actually it was the first end of everything.

Speaker 2:

That was badass. The first end of everything, exactly.

Speaker 3:

Because there's an insane amount of that in Norse mythology. It's incredibly doom and gloom.

Speaker 2:

Very much. Death and destruction is like rebirth for them.

Speaker 3:

But there is that recreation, there is that, so I mean just death itself, like their warriors would go to Valhalla, so like, yes, they died, but they're automatically then brought into Valhalla. So there is, in a sense, a rebirth or a continuation. There's always that, there's always that cycle. As far as the Tree of Life, everything's represented as circles and the knots, and never ending. There's an insane amount of continuation.

Speaker 2:

I love the way they treat an honorable death. I love any culture that highlights the respectability of an honorable death and how sacred that is like. A lot of people can go out like cowards. They can go out in all kinds of ways, right, but if you like, 10 toes on the ground. You died with honor. Son, we're gonna protect you in the afterlife. You got bitches on bitches. They're waiting for you forever.

Speaker 3:

And guess what?

Speaker 3:

they're just gonna be pouring your drinks and filling your plate forever, literally all of eternity, until a couple of things happen and then a homie calls you up on the horn and then we got to like go kick ass again. We'll get to that in a minute, but either way, what broke the massive stalemate and actually was the end of the war was Odin's, just like this is what's going to go. I'm going to marry your queen and we'll call it square. That was freya. Oh, my girl, that is so zeus is a zeus.

Speaker 3:

Wow, yeah, odin's original wife was frigga. Frigga was an ace here and it was only. It was then and only then to where freya did realize that they were kind of losing it. She was like, if they kill us all, no one's gonna be there to control the elements and they're fucked either way. So like, whatever, kill us all. Um, odin learned that and he was like okay, how about this? Um, we get married and the war is over, and then they actually do so. They do get married and there's none of this like bad blood between them, all they, the war is just over at the wedding and all the gods just kind of get brought into the fold and there's literal peace throughout the cosmos and it's never broken, except for one dickhead, but Loki doesn't count.

Speaker 2:

It's his job. He has to test the boundaries. Okay, he's got to make sure it's fair and tight.

Speaker 3:

Exactly Second child syndrome. What can we say?

Speaker 2:

You can already see a big difference and I'll just say it in the respect for the balance of things, in spite of the fact that they are in a war like they. Yes, they were willing to let it go on for a very long time, but they were willing to resolve things instead of just locking some very crucial controllers of, like, the elements and the balance, just locking them away somewhere where they couldn't come back out like, no, the world can just burn without you. We don't care.

Speaker 3:

Exactly.

Speaker 2:

So that's one thing Respect Norse mythology.

Speaker 3:

Things balance as everything should be.

Speaker 2:

All right, so let's keep pulling threads. I want to go into Medusa's Curse, and this is one that's like. This one hits close to home for a lot of reasons. I like this one because it shows how flawed the gods were. It's a victim, further victimized and made into a monster in the process. In some ways, she never has to worry about it happening again, but she isn't who she was before, and I think it's an example of the impact of violation and how trauma not only changes you, but it can be felt in the people you come into contact with. Right, I want to tell her story, but I want to tell both sides today and I hope I do her justice. So before I take us into the dark, kyle buddy, are you ready to hear the real story of medusa?

Speaker 3:

okay. So this will probably be only like the third time I've ever heard the story and I will never forget the very first time I heard the actual story and I was like bro, fuck these gods.

Speaker 2:

Hashtag free my homie Medusa.

Speaker 3:

Heck, yeah, hashtag justice for Medusa mama.

Speaker 2:

Fuck, yeah, you're the right man to have on this podcast.

Speaker 3:

So I want to talk to you about Medusa the priestess.

Speaker 2:

Okay, before she turned men to stone, she turned heads for different reasons. She walked barefoot through the marble temple, silent as seafoam. She was devoted, not for the promise of reward but for the quiet she found in Athena's service, a stillness that made the world feel clear. Her beauty was whispered reverence, not a temptation. In the evening she sang not for anyone else, just for the acoustics in the sacred halls and the way her voice echoed off the limestone, as if the gods themselves would harmonize with. Here comes Medusa the monster In the service of the goddess. She's violated by the god poseidon inside of the temple, she honored her silence.

Speaker 2:

Poseidon echoed through the stone chambers. The warning carried on salts like air. The temple was gone, the marble cracked, the oil lamps extinguished. She no longer sang, she hissed, and that sound made mountains shudder. Her hair, once adorned with ribbon and gold, now writhe with serpentspents, not as punishment but as protection. They struck at those who came close, not just men, but the memories. Her eyes were not cursed, they were defenses hardened after too many soft glances turned against her. She didn't turn people to stone out of malice. It was simply the only language the world respected. From her.

Speaker 2:

Now, silence had failed, so she petrified. She became the myth they feared, because it was the only way they would leave her alone. She wasn't cruel, she was cruelty's consequence. And in her lair she sculpted silence. A gallery of greed and pride frozen in time, a graveyard of those who believed their desire was more powerful than her autonomy. She, she's not a villain, she's a boundary set in flesh and fang. So if we unpack this, there's a lot to be drawn from it so far, but it's not over. This is just the beginning. Right, I want to talk about her end, but before I do, I want to see where your head's at this story hits different for women. It just does, and I genuinely want your thoughts as a man. What does it feel like for you to hear the story of Medusa? I know it's not easy to ask, but like what does this strike in you?

Speaker 3:

I, I promise I'm going to do my absolute best for, like, our respects and, like I said, I I don't have any type of a say in this matter but, like, I'm completely honest, have any type of uh say in this matter. But, like, I'm completely honest, the first time I, first time I heard the story, I was like it broke my heart. It really did, yeah, really did, because, like, if you ask anyone, the story of medusa, they're going to tell you is she was this snake-headed monster who turned these men to stone and so on and so forth. So they only get that one and it's just like it just shows that, like, even ancient history will just be buried. The truth just gets buried and buried, and buried. And then there's plenty of sources and tellings and retellings of the story that was like no, the actual story is, you know, is this is right, exactly what you've said. It's not her, it's not an offense, it's it's, it's a defense, it's exactly that she was. She was turned into the monster. If um if you will it.

Speaker 3:

It really honestly broke my heart the first time I heard it.

Speaker 1:

Still does, it still does and like it doesn't and that's what sucks, so it doesn't.

Speaker 2:

And that's what sucks, so it doesn't end there, and that's what really pisses me off. So bear with me for a minute while I rant about the heroes of history. For a second, perseus did not slay a monster, he hunted a survivor. Okay, she wasn't threatening kingdoms, she wasn't waging war, she was in exile, alone, hidden from the world minding her fucking business.

Speaker 2:

Minding her goddamn business her isolation was read as defiance. Her existence was a threat. The gods themselves couldn't touch her anymore, so they sent a super soldier with paper thin skin in the game. They stacked the deck against her so it wouldn't even be a fair fight, right. They gave him a mirrored shield. They gave him all the tools to go into it. He didn't face her to understand her. He wanted to outsmart her. He tried to avoid her. He tried to corner her and then he took her head and he didn't cry. He used it as a weapon, and that's what that's.

Speaker 2:

What really gets me about. It is they used her body even after she was dead, like turning her into a monster wasn't enough. They still thought they had the right to her and they called him a hero. It's irony in the worst fucking way possible. So like it just fucking gets me. She became their weapon after she could no longer speak, and maybe that's like what really hurts. It's not the death, it's the repurposing, it's the rebranding of a warning into a war cry. The gods who cursed her allowed her desecration. The same hands that couldn't touch her alive gripped her lifeless power with pride, like fucked up, so fucked up. She deserved a funeral. They gave her a battlefield. Fuck, perseus. I'll say it. Go ahead, kyle, you can talk now.

Speaker 3:

This is me off man I'm, I'm, I just, oh, jesus, I'm so happy I'm not Perseus, fucking Christ. But I couldn't agree more and I have never thought of that until you've just said this right now. Is that like it really is? Like she was just a priestess just minding her own business. And then Poseidon, he was like, hey, my brother's doing it, why don't I just do it? So then, cause that. And then he was like, oh, and now she's a monster. She's like that thing is like really dangerous evil. She's like listen, everyone, just leave me the fuck alone. Right, just stay over here, do not enter, do not pass, go, do not collect 200 drachmi or whatever the fuck they called it.

Speaker 2:

then just no boys allowed exactly no, just no.

Speaker 3:

Nothing allowed. I don't give a shite. And then they were just like yo. Here's the thing. We fucked up with this other problem over here. Here's what you got to do. Here's this awesome shield. Here's this weird ass owl thing.

Speaker 2:

I don't know how you got that right now. Whoever the fuck its name is. Thanks, Artemis.

Speaker 3:

Exactly, you get all this awesome shit. Go ahead and kill this really, really bad, evil monster.

Speaker 2:

They gave him a loot drop before he went into the boss fight. They literally did. It's so bullshit.

Speaker 3:

Exactly, they gave him all the cheat codes. Here's the HDR with the full set scopes and all those other things, the hip fire lasers, all that kind of shit. You got this. Go get that noob who just got out of the gulag and it's totally fine. And then not like you said. And then not only that, even then, even in death, she couldn't be at peace. They weaponized her. They weaponized her actual body. What was left?

Speaker 2:

Literally the carcass. Like we can't even leave her.

Speaker 3:

We're not even going to bury her.

Speaker 2:

We're just going to leave her in the hall with all the men, she had to fight off.

Speaker 3:

Exactly Just right there, just her body's left there. Her head is then taken to just be. You know, they didn't just like okay, yes, thank you, medusa, and now you have done this thing and so on, and we would return your head and give you a piece. No, they just like all right, sick.

Speaker 2:

Yay, this bitch empty they were like oh, we fucking killed the kraken today and let's put medusa's head up here where everyone can see it all the time we can, can all look at. Medusa now. Exactly, I hate them, I hate them.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, they're pretty goddamn terrible. They're pretty goddamn terrible.

Speaker 2:

All right, take me away from Medusa's lair, please, before I start fighting the gods.

Speaker 3:

Oh, man, what a bummer I know, it's oh God.

Speaker 2:

Tale as old as time.

Speaker 3:

Tale as old as time. No stop stop stop, stop, stop.

Speaker 2:

Beauty and the Beast. I was going to go. Violation and no peace. Oh no, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3:

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2:

That's staying in, that's what she said. Yeah, that is what she said.

Speaker 1:

Tell my story. I thought I would be said today.

Speaker 2:

The world will know what you said here today.

Speaker 3:

Well, now we'll just lighten the mood and we'll go to a lovely land. Back to the Norse of Ragnarok.

Speaker 3:

Oh yeah, I'll rip through this one as fast as I can, so not marvel's totally awesome and very funny ragnarok, actual ragnarok, um very depressing war and death of everything. It's the literal end of the world in norse mythology. So, uh, I mean they touch on some of the points in the movie, but serter is exactly that. Serter, serter, falter, god of destruction, fire, death, anguish. He's a. He's a big monster, he's loosely norse mythologies, satan, devil, whatever um the big guy.

Speaker 3:

Oh yeah, the big guy. It's grown, that guy, the big one, anyhow. Um, it's his raging of war against the gods, but actually I'm getting slightly ahead of myself. Technically that is ragnarok, but Ragnarok was brought upon because Loki's a dick.

Speaker 2:

And we love him for it.

Speaker 3:

We do.

Speaker 2:

He does it for the plot.

Speaker 3:

Okay, exactly, do it for the vibe. No, I do it for the plot Balder. Balder was one of the other gods, he was the pretty boy. So think of like the prettiest boy that you can To our listeners. I don't know whomever it may be, you know Cavill, brad Pitt, george Clooney for some of our older crowds, he was stunning, he was gorgeous, he was perfect. He was the son of Freya. I think he was the first son. He was the oldest or the youngest of Freya and Odin, their actual biological children. And so it was prophesied to Freya that he will die and she was like that's horseshit, I'm going to cheat death and I'm going to cheat fate. And so she had every living creature being so on and so forth. Swear to her that they would not harm Boulder, every beast, every rock, every stone, every tree, every person, all of them, except for the mistletoe, because the mistletoe is I don't know if anyone knows what a mistletoe is besides the one at Christmas time. It's a very small, weak plant.

Speaker 2:

It's a very tiny, it's like a fungus, right yeah.

Speaker 3:

Well, I think it is an actual flower, or like an actual, but it's just, it's very, very small. It's very tiny, like the ones you see hanging above your doors are literally that big. See, hanging above your doors are literally that big. Um, you know, they're seen as very, you know, she, she's just like oh, there's no way that that can harm my, there's no way that can harm my son, so I'm not gonna make that thing yeah, that it not, not my special perfect no, not my boy actually so the mistletoe wouldn't.

Speaker 3:

So in one of these awesome moments which it's very unclear, which god thought of it, but there's no way this wasn't a Thor thought. Hey, you know it would be Hashtag Thor thoughts Exactly.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, that's a good one.

Speaker 3:

You know it would be such a fun game to play right now. Let's try to kill Baldur, because he can't die.

Speaker 1:

So like time and time again in battle he would just regenerate he could.

Speaker 3:

So they had literally seen him be struck in battle and like enemies would throw and hurl rocks at him. And he never dies, he never. He was just like let's try and kill boulder, because he can't. I mean, they're they're throwing axes at him, they're he's smashing him with mule in there and he's just. Thank you, sir, can I have another? Thank you, sir, can I have another?

Speaker 2:

they are he's their version of kick the can. Exactly that's. That's it.

Speaker 3:

They're beating the piss out of him. Right, it's beat on Boulder Day. No, he's there, he's loving it, he thinks it's the funniest shit in the world. I swear to God, all the gods are there and they're just like drinking and trying to kill Boulder, knowing that they can't.

Speaker 2:

Oh, this guy sounds awesome.

Speaker 3:

I'm sorry to kill them, but loki p and loki. He found out that the mistletoe was the only thing that freya didn't have swear that could couldn't harm him. So loki's like oh you know, it's gonna be so funny if I turn this into like a dart or an arrow and I give it to my brother, the fucking god of war, and he throws it out of. This is gonna be great.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my god, that's exactly what he does he turns it into an arrow and he's like, hey, it's here.

Speaker 3:

I bet you 10 stats of mead that you can't kill boulder with it. He goes ha, watch this. Yeet pierces his heart. Boulder starts bleeding. The death of boulder. So it was foretold that his and the reason why? Not only because it was special, perfect boy, but it was then foretold that, upon the death of boulder, thimble winter would set in a two-year thimble winter thimble winter, you're killing me I. I swear to God.

Speaker 2:

Are you trying to curse my bloodline?

Speaker 3:

Upon the death of Boulder, Fimblewinter was set. Upon the two years left, Ragnarok ensues. So Whoa. Boulder now lies dead.

Speaker 2:

Thanks Loki and Mistletoe you dick Loki, thanks Loki.

Speaker 3:

A two year long winter of the entire world. So, and so just like a mini ice age right well, so, okay, so for them it's a mini ice age. But I was, like scientists would kind of say, it was like yeah, so like the ice age was thimble winter. Um, yes, so winter, exactly. Because, like, oh, because, like god, lifespans are different, so and so forth, because, like, however fucking long it doesn't matter immortal like the spouse voice spouse voice another callback.

Speaker 3:

Um yeah, then there's skull and heady and also the kind of fun stuff and there's a. There's about a billion other stories within that timeframe, but the important ones is the death of Baldur, because that immediately triggers Ragnarok to happen, and then now, after that, surtur is able to get his crown and raise his armies from the underworld in Helheim and go lay siege to Asgard and for the never-ending war of the gods. So in this one the notable deaths are everybody, literally everybody. Kill, count all, kill, count everything. It is the end of the actual world.

Speaker 2:

Control A delete.

Speaker 3:

Yes, exactly, Loki and his children side with Surtur. Loki's children are Frenyr, Jormungandr and Hela. They all side with, and I want to say the giant horse with like nine legs and four tails.

Speaker 2:

I'm pretty sure that's one of Loki's kids, a sluttnir, whatever his name is yeah, yeah, sluthair, or whatever, whatever that's. What about the marvel movie that, like broke the immersion was, hello is supposed to be thor's sister, but I'm like no, that's loki's child that's literally loki's child.

Speaker 3:

Literally, yoki, yoki yeah anyhow, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 2:

When nerds are nerds about nerd shit, yeah it, just it, just.

Speaker 3:

It's nerdception baby. So then you have thor and jormungandr facing off, and so jormungandr is the world serpent, bites thor, um, thor does thor things, and he bashes his face in with mjolnir himbo style eventually killing, eventually killing him, but he succumbs to the poison.

Speaker 3:

Uh, heimdall and loki, kind of trade, like they kind of stab each other, like at the same time, and they both fall, intimate, yes, exactly. And then, as sorter takes his sword and plunges it into I think it's to like the main, like source of the, the tree of life and all that kind of fun to be plunges. He plunges a sword into it, odin tries to jump in the way like, yes, my mere body will stop this gigantic sword, and then everyone dies and like everything explodes. It's it literally, it wipes humanity, it wipes the slate clean. But, like, as we talked about earlier, the amazing thing about Norse mythology is that all so that new life can begin and take over and start anew, and then it's just the new. There's going to be God's 2.0. Right To kind of take over, I believe some of the people who lived, thor's sons, magni and Modi, I think, tyr, I want to say he did, lady Sif.

Speaker 3:

So, very few of the big ones.

Speaker 2:

Is this when Loki goes to jail?

Speaker 3:

It depends on which there's.

Speaker 2:

Because I know there's like a point in Norse mythology when Loki is just like out of the picture off in jail somewhere and everyone's like no, we don't talk about Loki, we're all mad at him. He has to like have his child bring him food yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

So so there's two tellings of that one. So of, like, his big sense, he did a couple of dimes, um, his first one was at the death of balder, because they were like loki, you dick, uh, actually everything ended yeah, actually not even because of that one.

Speaker 3:

So they, so they imprisoned loki and all that other jazz. Then and there, uh, tear stricken with grief and sentence, he self-exiles himself. So that's why he lived the ragnarok, because he, just like he, literally ran away because he couldn't believe that he killed his brother. He feels fully responsible.

Speaker 2:

So Loki goes to Dagobah into exile. I must go Exactly.

Speaker 3:

Exactly no, no.

Speaker 3:

Loki went to the Citadel hardcore prison and then Tyr goes into Dagobah Gotcha, okay. So they added that one. And then there was another telling a little bit what they show in the Marvel movies. In the second one Though he didn't actually like kill her, he was kind of the catalyst who set everything in motion that brought upon the death of his mother. It was found that he was the mastermind behind the plan that had the elves invade Asgard. He was then imprisoned for that. So they loosely based on that in the Marvel movies. So there was like kind of two.

Speaker 2:

Think of it like Old Testament.

Speaker 3:

New Testament, if you will. So that was so. Ragnarok is Old Testament Loki, and the invasion of Alfheim is New Testament Loki. He still sucks in both of them. He's still a trickster. He's still a dick in both of them it's just.

Speaker 2:

But he's like no guys I changed. Remember that was old Loki, exactly New Loki, new Loki, woo.

Speaker 3:

New Loki rules Exactly Loki 2.0. Woo-woo, woo-woo Doesn't matter the testament. Loki's a dick, but we love him.

Speaker 2:

He's one of my favorites dude. For the plot, Always for the plot.

Speaker 3:

Exactly Just to stir the fucking pot.

Speaker 2:

All right, I want to go into the 12 labors of emotional avoidance, aka the story of Hercules.

Speaker 3:

Before or after he goes. Before or after Hera makes him insane and makes him eat his kids. A lot of baby eating going on A lot of baby eating.

Speaker 2:

Everyone eats their young, so I saved this one. Everyone eats their young, so I saved this one. Um, as with all things that take off in a big way, hercules got famous for all the wrong reasons, and I want you to think about it for a minute, because I'm gonna circle back to zeus and hera. We have zeus out here making titans and setting them loose on the world for the hell of it, and hera over here with resting bitch face because her man won't stay at home. The two of them make life a lot harder than it needs to be for humans, like we are sick of their shit just go to fucking couples therapy, would you?

Speaker 3:

jesus christ?

Speaker 2:

no I'm gonna keep banging titans and demigods like as a baby hercules. He's literally choking snakes in his cribs, like the opposite of SIDS. It's not really surprising. Things take a darker turn when he gets older, right, kyle, you and I are parents. Imagine the terrible twos with a demigod or teenage angst, right?

Speaker 2:

I'm pretty sure that's where I am right now and the idea of frat party like teenage, young adult Hercules it makes me want to invest in drywall and cover all of my drinks Like God. Get Hercules away from me. He's mega Chad if you think about it.

Speaker 3:

The giga mega ultra Chad.

Speaker 2:

What I think about Hercules Kyle.

Speaker 3:

I want to know what you think about Hercules.

Speaker 2:

You haven't told us what you think about Hercules, yet we're talking about Disney Hercules.

Speaker 3:

We're talking about Hercules, hercules.

Speaker 2:

You think Hercules comes to you in your mind. What do you think?

Speaker 3:

That it's one of the best Disney movies ever, but like horribly false, exactly that. Like I mean yeah, I think we hit it on the head the ultra Giga Chad Like he's the boss's son. He can do no wrong.

Speaker 1:

My daddy knows the lawyers.

Speaker 3:

Exactly, it's not his car, that's daddy's leases on that Viper and all that kind of shit. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

He's like the second Perseus for Zeus. This is is my spitting image.

Speaker 3:

I'm so proud of this boy which is the thing, though I feel. I feel the difference between perseus and hercules is because perseus was just kind of like a schmuck and then zeus just like gassed him up as to where. Like, hercules thought he was the shit, and then zeus was like you know what? You are the shit. So it was just doubled up. So you're talking, we're talking double inflate, we're talking compound inflation interest on this.

Speaker 2:

Dick zeus strokes the hell out of an ego man, both hands spitting on it yeah, that's exactly it.

Speaker 3:

So we're like like I said perseus didn't know.

Speaker 2:

But then zeus just like gassed him up hercule's new you called perseus a schmuck and my heart sang, I swear to god. So I snagged a quote from the smart people at the perseus digital library to outline why he was sent on the wild goose chase to begin with.

Speaker 2:

But I want to start by saying like, like you said, it's different from the disney movies. Hercules was a grown-ass man. When all of this growth goes down like, he wasn't some like bright-eyed young man, it was like a full-ass adult. Okay, anyway, the goddess hera, determined to make trouble for hercules, made him lose his mind in a confused and angry state. He kills his own wife and children when he awakened from his and they put this in quotes temporary insanity so so he was, he was the original.

Speaker 3:

He was the original chris benoit yeah, yeah, chris benoit uh, I'm not proud of that one. I'm not proud of that one I'm proud of it.

Speaker 2:

I'm so fucking proud of you speaking with your whole chest man. So hercules, shocked and upset by what he'd done, he prayed to the god apollo for guidance and the god's oracle, the Oracle of Delphi. By the way, people need to stop going to this crackhead for advice first of all. Seriously, oh my God.

Speaker 2:

Oracle says that you need to serve Eurystheus, the king of Tyrans, and Mycenae for 12 years as punishment for the murders. Part of his sentence, hercules has to perform 12 labors, feats so difficult they seem impossible. Fortunately, hercules had the help of Hermes and Athena, sympathetic deities who showed up when he really needed help. By the end of these labors, hercules was, without a doubt, greece's greatest hero and the perfect peckin'. A pack, a pair, pretty packs, bam. There you go. His struggles made hercules the perfect example and the embodiment of the greek idea called a pathos, which is the experience of virtuous struggle and suffering which would lead to fame and, in hercules's case hercules's case immort. So this is like his quest for immortality. Essentially, he's like oh no, I'm trying to make up for what I did. No, like he wanted to be immortal, wanted to be a god, whatever, giga.

Speaker 3:

Chad.

Speaker 1:

Giga Chad.

Speaker 2:

Before we get off the rails, I want to tell you what this really means. Hercules is the ultimate tragic himbo, half god. Unwanted, he is adored for his strength and loathed for his origin. Zeus never raised him, hera hated him, mortals feared him. And so what happens? He becomes a weapon. When the gods need something killed, they call Hercules. When kings need something done that no man can do, they send Hercules. He is the tool they use to fix their messes. And when he finally snaps, when harris sends him into this fit of madness, he slaughters his own wife and children, and the gods are like do chores about it do chores about scrub the floors with your toothbrush basically during the 12 labors, hercules is like in recovery, like he's supposed to be, like staying on the clear and

Speaker 2:

true. Like, yeah, he's in. Hercules is in rehab, it's god to your saw movie. Like he's got to solve his little puzzles. And do you want to play a game? Yeah, I guess. So I'm gonna break all the fucking rules, though, so I don't learn anything. Each labor is not just a punishment. It's psychological warfare. He has to confront monsters that reflect something deep and twisted in himself. Here are a few of them the nimian lion. It's a beast with impenetrable skin. What does hercules do? He strangles it with his bare hands and chooses to wear its skin a metaphor for arming up, armoring up with your own violence, he becomes what he kills, right?

Speaker 2:

what did I learn here? I got a cool fucking coat.

Speaker 3:

Check this shit, I'm just seeing macklemore right now thrift shop video but, it was shit, it was 99 cents.

Speaker 2:

So the lorne and hydra cut off one head, two grows back. You know, very marvel. Still it feels a lot like trauma, right. The more he fights, the worse it gets. He can't win clean. This labor is about futility the more you repress, the more it grows. He has to burn the next clothes to stop the head. So now we're just introducing self-sabotage as a coping mechanism.

Speaker 3:

I guess no, effective, no I mean depends potatoes for trauma?

Speaker 2:

a fun one is the ogy and stables literal shit like years and years and years of shoveling shit shoveling shit they're like. He's like what do I do next, boss? I don't know if I can go clean up. You got time to leave. You got time to clean her Jaleese. I fucking hate you for that one.

Speaker 3:

I mean it was the guy who was supposed to punish him. He was like out that day or he was like stuck in, like God traffic, or whatever he goes, I don't know. Fucking clean until he gets here, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

So what he does is he reroutes an entire river with like burn it all down energy.

Speaker 3:

He's like what if I just wash all this shit away? Hear me out, hear me out the power washer.

Speaker 2:

Power washer like man chores. It's like I can get all this done in seconds. Let me just destroy the ecosystem real quick. I got a two by four around here somewhere. Anything's a hammer if you're brave enough, I guess anything's a never mind dildo.

Speaker 3:

Yep, anything's a dildo if you're brave enough. But you said hammer, so you said it first.

Speaker 2:

The mares, the mares of diomedes, flesh eating horses. Kyle is one of my favorites, like the idea of horses eating people. I don't know why. It just fucking gets me all excited because it's. It's a horse like so he, he feeds their owner to them, essentially like. That's pretty much it. The horses eat human flesh, diomedes feeds them enemies, hercules feeds them diomedes. This is like the cycle of violence when you realize oh, I fucked up this thing, that I've raised it out to fuck me up like like shit what are we doing I?

Speaker 3:

don't know, feed it someone.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay, this is the one that gets me like pissed at Hercules, because he brings my boy, atlas, into it. So we just the apples of Hesperides.

Speaker 2:

Hercules was tasked with retrieving three golden apples from the garden of Hesperides, a place at the far western edge of the known world. What's so good? These apples are very much a lot like the Garden of Eden apples, apples of knowledge, apples of whatever Infertility close to gods. You get the apples, you get the truth. Whatever the fuck he's going after these apples? Right, they're guarded by Hesperides, the nymph daughters of Atlas and a hundred-headed dragon which is sick as fuck. That's fucking cool. Okay, hercules gets Atlas to go get the apples for him and some of the tellings of the myths, and then tricks him into picking up the world again. He's like no, I'll hold this for a second, like a classic Tom Sawyer, right? He's like no, you go do my chore for me. I'll do your chore for you.

Speaker 3:

He doesn't do his chore.

Speaker 2:

For him, though, he leaves a fucking hanging atlas doesn't have it bad enough, gets fucked over by himbo hercules on this mission for godhood, bro, don't worry I totally got this man.

Speaker 3:

You got this man. Look, you've been holding the shit up. I got you, bro, like check this out. Look at this, boom, I'm holding this whole ass thing up. Go get it. You've been holding this big ass earth. Go pick me up tiny, three, teeny tiny ones. I got you, chief. He comes back and he's just like snacking on like one of the legs he took from like the horse. Oh yo, here's your earth.

Speaker 2:

Thanks for the apples boy peace, yeah, yeah, no, fucking kidding pisses me off. So, hercules, not emotionally available, right? He's reckless. He solves emotional problems by like, let's just say he murders emotional problems. He's loyal, but only if you're on his side, and he's really not built for nuance. He shows what happens when strength is valued over healing, when a man is built to endure instead of feel. I didn't go over every single little chore he had to endure to get straight, karma-wise, but you get the point. Instead of owning what he did, he made a whole Olympic sport out of his redemption arc. We gobbled it up like piggies when they put it to music and made a cartoon out of it.

Speaker 3:

Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Don't you dare, don't you goddamn dare.

Speaker 2:

He's literally like the embodiment of burnout, If you think about it he does all the labors, yeah.

Speaker 2:

He does them all More, get added Cause they're like no, like you didn't, you didn't learn anything, like you just cheated. Here's more. So, even after like he doesn't stop getting punished, even in death. He's turned into a god and married off to heave the goddess of youth, like he's allowed to finally rest. But I just want to be like he. Just he had this air about him like I'm being cosmically punished. None of the bad things that I do are my fault, and that shtick is the reason why he never felt like he was done. It's why it felt endless, because he was just externalizing all of the internal shit and making it everybody else's problem. Hercules, try therapy. He didn't learn anything here, but maybe we can kyle. You still like hercules, or have I done a good job of sucking the fun out of him?

Speaker 3:

no, I still love that fucking movie. But hercules I've known hercules has sucked, especially the kevin sorbo one that can go all the way to fucking hell, all the way to Tartarus, to the lowest levels of hell Either way, you know, hercules has always sucked.

Speaker 3:

It's one of those things where it's like you almost. Yeah, I've made this argument a couple of times before. Oddly enough, I give him like 49% 49 blame. 51 definitely goes to zeus and harrah. Yeah, just like I feel like smiegel gets like 49 the blame and like the ring gets the 51 because it's just like he was just out fishing with his buddy and the ring was just like yo kill that motherfucker.

Speaker 3:

And he was like precious, so like it's kind of like that. Like hercules was just kind of yeah, he was probably a dick, but like his dad sucked, so like, so it's just like.

Speaker 2:

God, help us all when Zeus starts feeling paternal all of a sudden. We all pay for it, exactly.

Speaker 3:

Exactly Like. Also like he's not exactly father of the year or father of ever, and the hair is like. You know what? I'm sick and tired of it. It was like I've had enough. Like Samuel Jackson said, I've had enough of these motherfucking dummy gods in this motherfucking area.

Speaker 2:

Because he just can't keep it in his goddamn toga, um just start eating each other. I think there's exactly these fuckers to deal with, exactly so I'm gonna make this one exactly I'm gonna make this one eat his and go insane.

Speaker 3:

I'm just gonna punish him. But, like I said, he was gassed up, so his parents fucked him up so he didn't learn how to cope with all that other kind of shit. But right is that never-ending story when he just kind of kept he just kept that toxic behavior. He didn't learn anything, he just kind of kept feeding into it.

Speaker 1:

He didn't look to be the victim.

Speaker 2:

He just kept doing it. It's rewarded for it. That's what's so shitty. Medusa's a monster, but Hercules is a hero, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, there's not a whole lot of happy in Greek mythology Actual Greek mythology, Not a whole lot of happy.

Speaker 2:

I didn't realize I was all Greek until I was done. And I'm like man, these are all Greek motherfuckers.

Speaker 3:

It's like I mean, I was bat a thousand on Norse, so why not? Hell yeah Do you have any more? I did have a Greek one, but I think it's just I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can handle it. I don't know if I can take any more of it.

Speaker 2:

Well, if you don't, I can always give you the new myth that you've never heard before. Nobody's ever heard it before. It's a new myth.

Speaker 3:

I will super duper readers digest Um Echo and Narcissus. Narcissus sucks. He was forced to fall in love with himself because he was a douchebag to echo classic.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yes, exactly so.

Speaker 3:

Like it's just like that's just the never-ending story of greek mythology is a fucking giga chad who treats someone absolutely horrible.

Speaker 2:

The only thing that I say echo hold on your amazon, echo, is telling you about green mythology now it is, it absolutely is on the podcast so bad she can't stand it she does, because I forget whatever, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3:

Um, at least um narcissus is actually punished and even though he doesn't like realize it, he does kind of get it in the end. Spoiler alert he dies um, but yeah, it's a very good story it's where narcissism comes from right, like that whole story is um, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna do my absolute best to be so nice, but um, fucking duh, like you know, like yeah really the guy narcissist who was in love with the guy narcissist, narcissist. When he fell in love with himself, I thought he was the greatest thing ever.

Speaker 2:

That's where we get narcissism from because you'd think like his parents wouldn't have named him that if that were the case before.

Speaker 3:

Exactly so. That's why it was invented, and that's why the E word that I'm not going to say right now was invented because she was punished, because apparently she was a freaking smoke show.

Speaker 3:

And like the other nymphs didn't like that. So mama nymph I forget which one it was she cursed her because she had this beautiful voice and she was just the total embodiment of perfection. She was the only other, apparently the only other entity that was more fair than her was Aphrodite, so like damn Anyhow. So her mom was uber pissed about that and said that she can't speak anymore. She can only repeat the last like up to like the last three words, that like she heard um from and then from that. She's just kind of out through the woods one day as narcissus is just kind of gallivanting through the woods. He's just a dick at this point. He's not like a complete and total dick, he's just like kind of he's a chode at this point. Right, loves himself. Exactly, he's interested in himself. I want to say he's, you know, he's just kind of talking. They've gone on a couple of dates. He's like first base with himself.

Speaker 3:

Maybe second pants right like I said, he's not a, he's not a huge dick, he's like a chode, he's like average right now, either way, um. And so she sees him and she's like holy fuck, that dude's hot, but not really. She just kind of says like whatever, so like she stepped on a twig, crack, crack, crack, crack. That's all she says because it's all she could do either way, um, and she kind of reveals herself to him like comes out from, like hiding. She was like falling into the woods and shit like that. And um, he's like dude, what the fuck. And she's like the fuck. He's like why are you copying me, copying you? Like?

Speaker 2:

that's kind of what the conversation is and he like Me talking to my husband. Who the fuck?

Speaker 1:

What the?

Speaker 3:

fuck, but like she actually startles him and all she can do is just repeat what he says. So he's completely turned off by this and he was like bitch, you ugly, I don't want nothing to do with you. So breaks her heart and she goes, she, she. I always kind of see it happening almost like an ancient greek way of like prom night, when, like the boyfriend is just like I just did you as a dare, and she just like goes running into the bathroom crying it's kind of like that she goes running into this cave.

Speaker 3:

So she's just crying, cries and weeping, and weeping and weeping into this cave and at least the original story that I was told was that as she's in there, and then, lo and behold our good buddy narcissist, narcissism, narcissist, whatever the dickhead what are you still crying?

Speaker 3:

no, it's. She's like all in this cave and like it's super dark in there and he doesn't know what the hell's going on. And so he was talking with someone, or just kind of talking, and she's just repeating back to him. So he's like what the fuck is this? And like it spooks him, literally spooks him Like oh, my God, something's in here, what the hell is it? And like they're going like the hunter. So she literally just like dies of sadness in the cave, in the cave, oh, and so, um god, it's killing me right now. But another I think it's gaia, I think I heard of this and was like yo, you're the fucking worst.

Speaker 3:

So she curses him to make some fallen love with himself and it's like he's walking by a lake and he literally falls in love with himself at a lake and he, he's just like, staring and talking, literally totally gassing himself up how beautiful he is and oh, my goodness, and the other thing. And he was like, oh, I have to go, but no, don't leave me. Literally to himself at his reflection, and he does it so much, he just he dies. He's literally there forever, like he doesn't drink, he doesn't eat, he doesn't drink, he doesn't eat, he doesn't do anything, he does not leave, he dies at that spot.

Speaker 3:

So it's kind of great like it's kind of sad, but it's kind of great like that's a very loose telling of like there's a billion other stories of how it goes. That's probably much more romanticized or not romanticized all of these.

Speaker 2:

there's like a million ways to tell them, but the the core thing is narcissist was a narcissist and Echo was a poor girl and you know what he dies in the end.

Speaker 3:

Exactly, that's what it does. Exactly, so new myth Go.

Speaker 2:

New myth. Okay, I don't even want to tell you the name of it, like it's a whole new myth. I just want you to hear it and I want you to know that I'm excited about this, that I'm excited about this a whole new myth. I had a helper they're gonna remain unnamed.

Speaker 2:

That'll give you all of the hints you need. Once upon a time, in a world spun from music and mayhem, a few wandering souls crossed paths on a live stream. There were no voices at first, only words, only energy, only the undeniable hum of something waking up. Angie and Brooke were the guardians of the space, the steady hands keeping the current flowing. And then, through the chaotic glow of the chat Becca, arrived a voice not yet heard but deeply felt. There was no ceremony, no grand announcement, just a moment that clicked, as if the stars above, exhausted from being subtle, threw them all together and said here, find each other, it's time. They bonded over the music, over the musician whose voice wove them together, and didn't take long before laughter erupted. Inside jokes were born and memes were forged in the fires of unhinged creativity. They became leaders, they became sisters and when the old world fell away, they carry each other into a new one without looking back.

Speaker 2:

And then, from another corner of the cosmos, came Kyle, angie's brother, in arms, shaped by battles no one would ever see at first glance, in his armor of kindness, his blade of loyalty, and his royal companion, a service dog with a crown invisible to all but those who know. Companion, a service dog with the crown, invisible to all but those who know. Kyle didn't arrive with trumpets or fanfare, he just fit like he had always been there waiting. They became four witches and warriors, chaos makers bound not by blood but by choice, across miles, across every invisible line the world thought it could put. Between them, they built a temple of laughter, mystery and love, a podcast born not to please anyone but to keep the fire alive inside themselves. Every Monday, without fail, they meet, not in a palace or studio, but in a digital clubhouse that feels more real than half the cities on this earth. They tell stories of monsters, mysteries and madness, and sometimes, when the laughter dies down and the echoes settle, you can hear it the heartbeat of something sacred.

Speaker 2:

The myth of the Black Curtain Club isn't just a story about a podcast. It's about how the universe still remembers, how to shove the right people together. It's about family, the kind you build yourself. It's about never forgetting the moment. You found each other. You found home. That's it. How do you like it? Do you like it Sweet huh?

Speaker 3:

Man shut the fuck up.

Speaker 2:

Don't cry, man. Shut the fuck up, dude. What are you doing? Do you like it?

Speaker 3:

I do, I do very, very much oh man, you're part of the myth now. Uh-oh.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Aw. Well, see now that I was sweet to you, I could be really mean to you at the outro if I wanted to be able to balance it back out. Would that make you feel better?

Speaker 3:

Oh my God. Yeah, because that's absolutely been our topic of the entire night.

Speaker 2:

Hell yeah, all right. Well, kyle, you didn't fuck everything up. We are wrapping at a decent time and there's still a little mead left at the bottom of my tankard, so why don't we give this episode a proper Viking funeral and let it all go down in flames? This has been the Mythically Morbid episode of the Black Curtain Club podcast. If you enjoyed this one, give us a like, a comment, and subscribe to the Black Curtain Club wherever you get your podcast fix. If there's an episode you want to see us tackle, drop a comment down below and I will send Kyle to go see what the hell you're talking about. Every Monday from now until Ragnarok, we'll be releasing a new episode After Ragnarok. Mondays will now be called Kyle's Day because he sucks like Mondays. Nothing else will change. That is all. Bye, bye. Say bye Kyle, bye Kyle. Say bye kyle, bye kyle hell yeah, I'll see you next time.

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