The Black Curtain Club
Weird mysteries, creepy stories, chaotic 2 a.m. conversations, and all the things your afraid to ask your friend - that’s what you’ll find at The Black Curtain Club.
The Black Curtain Club
Midnight Musings - Game Night
Three friends venture into treacherous territory with a game that strips away filters and exposes uncomfortable truths. What begins as a simple card game quickly evolves into a revealing look at friendship boundaries, dark humor, and the things we typically keep hidden.
"Can of Squirms" forces Angela, Kyle, and Becca to confront questions ranging from "Who would make the shittiest superhero?" to "Who is more likely to stalk someone?" Their answers highlight their distinctive personalities – Kyle with his golden retriever energy, Becca with her unfiltered honesty, and Angela balancing between them with sharp wit. The rapid-fire format creates moments of genuine surprise as the three discover things about each other they perhaps didn't need to know.
The conversation takes unexpected turns through hypothetical scenarios that reveal more than intended. When asked who would best represent humanity at an intergalactic convention, they conclude they'd be a diplomatic disaster. Discussion of who would survive longest in prison reveals surprising survival skills. Their debate about who would volunteer for a one-way trip to Mars exposes deeper truths about escapism versus practicality.
What makes this episode special isn't just the hilarity of their responses, but the underlying trust that allows them to navigate potentially awkward territory with confidence and self-deprecating humor. Their willingness to be vulnerable – discussing everything from weird search histories to unusual personal habits – creates a listening experience that feels like eavesdropping on a particularly honest late-night conversation among close friends.
Ready to learn which questions make your friends squirm? Join the Black Curtain Club for this unfiltered adventure through friendship's unexplored territories, and maybe discover questions to test in your own social circle – if you're brave enough.
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Who is more likely to stalk somebody? It's tricky.
Speaker 3:I don't feel like I think we all have the capacity.
Speaker 2:We all have such a particular skill set. We all bring so much to the table, but do we have the motivation? If we had a mutual target.
Speaker 3:they're fucked before we begin today's episode, we would like to share a quick disclaimer. The views, opinions and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised. Hi friends, welcome back to the Black Curtain Club here for another Midnight Musing where we turn on the record button and see what happens. I'm Angela, and tonight I'm not alone in this chaos. Thank God Kyle is here and of course, our sarcastic little sister, becca is here, and I hear that Kyle has brought us a game to play here. We are absolutely no script, no structure, and we're gonna see where this night takes us. How are you guys doing?
Speaker 1:Ask that again in like 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:I am doing most good, most good.
Speaker 1:And that's a wrap for another glorious episode of the Blackcurrant Club Podcast. Catch us here on Monday, I don't know. Okay, so so fuck it, I'll take it.
Speaker 2:uh, so the game is called can of squirms if you say so it's like quiet, like one of us was gonna describe the game I know, I don't know why.
Speaker 1:I just I thought we were just like oh, kyle, tell us about this game, or whatever. I was just like I was kind of waiting for some type of like a cue hey.
Speaker 3:Kyle, I'm sorry. Can you tell us about this game you brought us? Yeah, no problem, let me get a quick snack. What is a game? What is a game?
Speaker 1:You guys fucking suck. I don't want to tell you anymore.
Speaker 1:This is my ball I'm going home, okay, can of squirms yes, this is not any type of like hate, like they didn't give us this game to like talk about this. It's just shit I just happen to have because it's really funny. Um, believe it or not, back at home I I have a very close group of friends. This game was so much fun to play with them the five minutes that we played it, because they were all very uncomfortable with it, which is exactly how I was expecting it to go, because I don't think any of them knew what half the stuff was. It was just very fun to make them feel very awkward how uncomfortable do you think we're gonna be with it?
Speaker 1:oh, you guys not at all. There might be one or two. You maybe you clutch your pearls, but like I think it's right up our alley, it's. It says right here it says can of squirms, awkward questions you can't unask how do you think we should play this game?
Speaker 3:Are you just going to throw out a question and then we just? I?
Speaker 1:think I'm just going to throw out the question. We can either just kind of talk about it and then we'll just get a good giggle. Angie, definitely this. Oh no, oh, it's definitely Kyle that does this or has done that, or what have us.
Speaker 3:And I'll just kind of separate them into little piles here and then um you know, whoever has the most cards is the loser.
Speaker 1:Ah, all right, hit us with the first question. Oof, I accidentally drew two cards, so fuck it, we'll just say this one. Um, first question who is better in bed me? We'll just make that one a wash I was gonna say like everyone's gonna say that I'm right, you should, that's right. Hey, you know what team high five confidence one, two, three black curtain club fucks. That's what we learned today, yeah we're also gonna learn who masturbates more often.
Speaker 3:I'm going to say Becca. I'm going to say Becca. I think her garden gets watered pretty frequently.
Speaker 1:She said she has a very attentive farmer.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to defend myself, it's just true.
Speaker 1:Okay, so Should we just hand Becca. The well, you tried trophy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all the cards.
Speaker 1:Who would get laid quicker if they went to a singles bar right now?
Speaker 3:Oh, you Kyle yeah probably Kyle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, probably, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me and angie we would.
Speaker 1:We have resting bitch face like everybody is like giving us a wide berth until they hear us giggling and they're like okay, I want to be a part of that meanwhile, it's not even my lux, it's just that, oh, he's a golden retriever, you know come on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's the golden, yeah, it's it is it's that, it's the puppy energy.
Speaker 1:It's yeah. Okay, all right, let's pull from the middle of the pile here. Who would you least trust behind the wheel? Me?
Speaker 2:kyle me, are you kidding?
Speaker 1:see, who do you think, what do you guys?
Speaker 3:think you set yourself up for that one, but I did becca angie, or the guy who has seizures and not a driver's license okay, listen, I am partially blind in one eye and I still say kyle, I'm you're partially blind.
Speaker 2:I'm full broken in my brain, so yeah, he has this ability to black out and make everybody else black out too he likes to share.
Speaker 1:Sharing is caring, exactly, exactly it's a different kind of trip sitter I mean this one, I think is pretty easy who would make the shittiest superhero?
Speaker 3:oh I, I I'm calling myself out on that one shittiest superhero.
Speaker 1:No, because you'd be a shitty superhero or because you feel you'd be a better supervillain. I would get pissed off at somebody and use my powers for evil, but at the same time, though, I don't see you having that full-rooted villainous malice, Like anti-hero maybe kind of vibes and feels.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe anti-hero. Maybe kind of vibes and feels yeah, maybe anti-hero, yeah her power is apathy wait, empathy or apathy apathy the opposite of empathy.
Speaker 1:Oh so, like she's like everyone's got problems.
Speaker 2:Kid, I thought you were going for like a sampler like ben.
Speaker 1:Everyone's got problems, kid. I thought you were going for like a sampler like Bennigan's for like 999 or something like that one. That's a different type of app.
Speaker 3:Why the hell am I helping you? Everybody's got problems.
Speaker 1:Fuck it up, yeah exactly, so it's like like anti-hero.
Speaker 2:Who's got time for that I?
Speaker 1:don't see it like you know. It's not going to like consume your life to where you're gonna be, like destroy the world now, but like, yeah, like dude, everything sucks.
Speaker 3:Like I don't know. I kind of like identify with thanos. I think the older that I get, the more I'm just like yeah, thanos had it, had it right. Like half the people need to be gone no, he no, he didn't.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, he was completely wrong because with his thing, there's too many damn people in this universe. I've had it with these motherfucking people in this motherfucking universe, so let me just kill half of them. Rather than, on the other side of the coin, why not just make more resources?
Speaker 1:you know what I mean true oh damn it, you got me he killed half of all living creatures, not just humans or humanoids half the fish, half the, the cows, half the gurp gorp's or whatever the fuck it was on plutonia nine, whatever the fuck they have over there.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean dr strange could have opened up a universe hole. He could have noah's arced this bitch had everyone go in two by two like happy. You guys go live in a different universe. We don't even need the stones, just like point a gun at dr strange.
Speaker 1:Listen, open up one of them, holes yo open your hole let people throw have a good time, like he could have literally made plans that there was nothing there but food. No, he had to go and kill half of everything that lived. Listen, if we're also going to split hairs, once we get neil degrasse tyson on here, we'll talk to him about it, like all living things, okay, and this leads into my next point.
Speaker 2:I think kyle would also be a shitty superhero because he would be like executive dysfunction man and like tangent man, like if he were like spider-man and the big apple. He would never get to the emergency because he would see five emergencies on the way to the emergency and every time he saw an emergency it would just happen again and he would just be swinging around doing nothing exactly the other day. He'd be like man.
Speaker 1:I'm so fucking tired and then I turn into the punisher because I just get pissed off, like that's it. Everyone gets a bullet. That's it.
Speaker 2:I'm done with this trying to save everybody, you get a bullet I'm chasing my tail out here exactly jaywalking.
Speaker 1:You can't walk with one leg. Now you're a jay hopper, simple as that absolutely valid. Becca 100 valid yeah, million percent I think I shouldn't be trusted with superpowers you shouldn't be trusted with like a spatula, let alone fucking power I shouldn't be trusted with what I have access to to begin with, exactly.
Speaker 2:You know I'm just out here. They gave me free will? You guys should all be scared.
Speaker 1:That's the worst thing you could do to me, yeah exactly, and then also because of the overthinking that I have. Like I said, I asked it was like okay, what superpower, what superpowers would you want? That's really difficult for me to think about because it's like I'm also thinking of like the, the side effects, or like the not so good things of superpowers executive dysfunction man exactly all right, so you uh hands down, you win that card?
Speaker 1:I think fuck you too, jesus christ, I can't drive. I can get laid at a singles bar, but a bad superhero I mean, everybody has to have something we all fuck. Who's more of a dickhead?
Speaker 2:that's becca so nice I will say angie is a dickhead to herself. I don't think kyle's capable of being a dickhead. Truly, he fucking got me.
Speaker 1:I've been thinking about it too much.
Speaker 2:And I was like okay, so like all of the dick as it's circumcised. Kyle's thinking about it too much. I'd be a great vagina.
Speaker 1:head is what you're saying. Head of dick, I'm thinking way too much.
Speaker 3:Who's getting that card? I told you, Becca.
Speaker 1:Whose internet search history would be more embarrassing.
Speaker 2:Becca's, I wouldn't be embarrassed.
Speaker 1:That's the thing, though. She has no shame. She has no shame. She wouldn't be embarrassed. She wouldn't be embarrassed, I wouldn't be embarrassed. I would just tell you, I send it all to you guys anyway that's true, I think.
Speaker 2:I think angie. I think angie would be the most embarrassed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think angie would be mortified if we saw all of the things that she searches for yeah, I really think so, because, like same things, like I'll just, I really don't have that much, I don't have like weird shit that'd be embarrassed about that you're looking at. It's just that. Oh, this guy is definitely probably autistic, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah horny and autistic check check not even the horny part.
Speaker 1:That's just whatever. It's just like okay. It's gonna be like okay, best pancake recipe when? When was constantinople renamed into istanbul? Why are cats cats? You know what I mean. Like and it's just blue.
Speaker 2:Why'd they call it the Cold War if the Cold War wasn't technically cold? No?
Speaker 1:okay, hold on, we can have an episode about that one. Don't start me on a history shit.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm thinking of my search histories now.
Speaker 2:It's just random, you know, it's just mine's just a total random Crack that baby open, take a screenshot and put it in the group chat for us you won't win, boss.
Speaker 1:No, no, boss, she goes, you're right, no, just no, yep, yep, that's what I thought.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, that's what I thought You're going to see. If you look at mine, you're going to see somebody who waters their garden too much. I'm not embarrassed, I got embarrassed.
Speaker 1:Okay, so like this leads. Okay, this is another one. I have questions. Who would win in a fight?
Speaker 3:In a fight with who.
Speaker 1:Exactly See. So, becca, you can't give me shit for overthinking this one.
Speaker 2:Okay, thunderdome, the three of us are fighting each other Kingsman style, like in the church. We've gotten the crazy bug in our brain. We're turning on each other. Mm-hmm. Okay, kyle has the training, that's like me, I'm calling for it. I have the unrelenting force, I have the gun. I mean, yeah, I guess I'll give it to Kyle, yeah, but I mean I'm taking a piece of him with me, oh yeah no, it's all right, he's fucking, he's not walking out a hole.
Speaker 2:I will tell you that much. He will win by the skin of his teeth.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then we'll just go first one shot, because both of you will turn on me and shoot me first and then, and then fight each other.
Speaker 1:You look at each other.
Speaker 2:Any of my enemy of enemy if you look at me with those eyes and you make them all big, I'm gonna hesitate and I can't have that. So I'm just probably gonna try to crack your neck before you even look at me, if I'm honest just think.
Speaker 1:You can't hesitate. You gotta's thing, you can't hesitate, you gotta just do it. You can't hesitate, you hesitate and you die.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna of mice and menu. I'm gonna Tell me about the rabbits. Lenny Gonna just live off the fat of the lip.
Speaker 1:Bam. Tell me about the rabbits. Tell me about sleep token.
Speaker 2:Ange, tell me about sleep token tell me about vessel fair, very fair oh, you know what me and Kyle would boondock saints you and shepherds. We shall be for thee, my lord for thee.
Speaker 3:We're not doing this you know what that would be? An honorable death.
Speaker 2:See, I say that but it's really gonna be the vent scene where we're coming out tangled in the rope because we were fighting in the vents. You know, you remember in the movies, because we were fighting in the vents.
Speaker 1:You know? You remember, in the movies you got the guy who jumped over the sofa. Yeah, you got shot for 10 fucking minutes. We're good yes, we are, oh fuck.
Speaker 2:I'm going to do this whole movie now, aren't I? It was a firefight. It was a firefight.
Speaker 1:Maybe it was one guy with six guns. Let me do the thinking genius. Hey, make us along with those blood samples.
Speaker 2:Okay, give us a question, Kyle.
Speaker 1:I know, I know you gotta come in.
Speaker 2:I almost forgot your name.
Speaker 1:Okay, who would win in a rap battle?
Speaker 3:In a rap battle. Becca's chat GPT.
Speaker 2:That song he wrote was dope as hell. You guys have to admit.
Speaker 1:He just took the titles of the songs I put and just put them line for line.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he took your grimoire.
Speaker 1:He just did what I did he just broke them up into paragraphs. Yeah, it still kind of worked though.
Speaker 2:Space Cupid from hell didn't ask for consent. That's true. Slap a slice on your titties and repent's true.
Speaker 1:Slap a slice on your titties and repent slap a slice on your titties, slap a slice, oh god oh man, yeah, anywho, next question who is masturbated in the most unusual place? Oh, now remember, we're not asking what the place is, we're just. Who do we think? Kyle whoa, whoa whoa hold on what? Yeah, hands down standby, yeah, a little globe trotter over here hands down I'll allow it hands down ice front soldier who is more likely to be mistaken for a god by an undiscovered amazonian tribe?
Speaker 2:it's definitely one of y'all hmm, yeah, angie's very tall, they're very short in the Amazon, I will say, and she would look like a goddess. They're like pygmies in there, aren't they?
Speaker 1:I mean I don't know, which is kind of funny, because yeah, there is like some of those tribes where they are like really, really short people.
Speaker 2:But then when I read Amazonian I just think of like the. Well, amazonian in a Greek mythology sense is not the Amazon rainforest, exactly.
Speaker 1:So I was like, like which kind of amazonian I'm?
Speaker 2:assuming they mean probably the actual rainforest that exists exactly.
Speaker 1:Dude, I don't know, not the made-up, fake one, whoa who said it was make a fake one, just saying man I'm sorry, just saying no, you're not, it's okay. Slowly but surely, I'm really starting to think I'm not Anakin or Darth Maul in Death of the Jar Jar Binks of this fucking saga.
Speaker 2:You're that guy with the big forehead of the council.
Speaker 1:Ki-Adi-Mundi.
Speaker 2:Of course you know his fucking name.
Speaker 1:Listen, I will go fucking toe-to-toe with anyone of fucking character names in Star Wars.
Speaker 2:Do you know what you are? Sliced noodles sliced noodles.
Speaker 1:No, what you laughing about, max webo?
Speaker 2:yeah, max webo and sliced noodles over here they have some of the best fucking names.
Speaker 1:And then there's shit like that. There's just like big trunkin, like what?
Speaker 2:yeah, the guy with the elephant nose over there.
Speaker 1:What's his name? Big trunkin? Okay, it's a gonk droid.
Speaker 2:Why? Because? It's a droid that goes gonk you know TIE fighters because your ship looks like a TIE.
Speaker 1:Nope Twin ion engine. Tie is an acronym.
Speaker 2:If I didn't know you had children, I would swear you were a virgin. Some immaculate conception shit. Slap a slice on your titties, get two kids.
Speaker 1:Is that aged cheddar baby?
Speaker 2:I know you like it. That was good. I know you like it too. I mean listen. Actually it's an acronym.
Speaker 1:You're gonna be about it. Fucking be about it. Okay, that's gonna have you talk shit. Get hit bud Like you. You know you're gonna say some shit. That ain't right. I'm gonna fucking correct you on it get it right.
Speaker 2:You're right, I'm an uncultured swine you're right to punish a little rube like me you useless car a little slap.
Speaker 3:I like that all right, so I guess I'm getting that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you get that one, you get that one, and I'm trying to save myself from doing a fucking star wars rip now I wish I'm a mother of wood who has spent more money at a strip club. Who has spent more money at a strip club? Kyle, absolutely not.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely not I've never spent money on a strip club I never have either oh okay, so all right, by default, I've been told one.
Speaker 1:I was like I've been to one once okay, by default.
Speaker 2:Fine, just straight mail, take your fucking card.
Speaker 3:If you, if you threw a quarter at her, then you spent more money than I do she said she was sitting.
Speaker 1:I said afterwards hey, miss, you got some spare change. Yeah, you've spent more money.
Speaker 2:That's funny I make it hail bitch I make it hail it's.
Speaker 1:It's a light drizzle at best. It's a light drizzle at best.
Speaker 3:Scattered showers, oh, give us another one listen who looks more like a neanderthal?
Speaker 1:it's the beard, isn't it?
Speaker 3:yeah, yeah, wait what was the question? I missed it.
Speaker 1:Who looks more like a Neanderthal.
Speaker 2:Oh you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, got him. Who would punch their mom in the head For ten grand?
Speaker 2:I would do it for free.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure she'd do it for the quarter I gave to the stripper. I'm like looking over my shoulders now because, like I know, my mom heard me read that or she felt the disturbance in the force that I read that she was you better not fucking, said me there's a shoe coming free.
Speaker 2:You just haven't had it yet. No, I don't know nah, we're fine no, it would be a harry potter book.
Speaker 1:Oh hell yeah yeah, uh, who is more likely to complain about a first world problem?
Speaker 3:angie, yeah, yeah I can't even hide from that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's angie people are fucking up her food all the time. I always have to hear about it. I said no pickles, you fucking imbecile. God, what kind of asshole they have back there making sandwiches, fucking christ man it's not that hard peppercorns going to steak a poivre, christ man.
Speaker 1:It's not that hard Peppercorns go in a steak au poivre. Fucking idiots. Peppercorns Lana.
Speaker 3:I can't even hide from that, oh God.
Speaker 1:Bougie-ass motherfucker. Who has the no? Alright, fuck it. Who has the best poop story?
Speaker 2:Hold on, I'm gonna look up the quote.
Speaker 3:We have something for this oh god, you might as well. Just I just give it to me, okay. Oh, is that in the quote file?
Speaker 2:I swear hold on there's. I'm sorry. I know there is a quote about this. There's a quote about this oh god shit.
Speaker 2:We had both told each other like graphic poop story graphic nice and we called it a meeting of the hinds. That's great. And then the real Heinz were the shits we took along the way. That's from the Cooler Kids quote channel on our Discord. That was the day before we recorded Secrets, lies and Radioactivity, because the next quote is nuts and one lay dater, god oh christ oh god, good times good times, good times, hey, while we're on this subject, who has the largest genitalia?
Speaker 1:I bet what who has the largest genitalia?
Speaker 2:what counts as genitalia? Yeah, because we're. We're like, we're the head chairs of the big titty committee over here. I'm pretty sure, whatever heat you think you're packing, amen, becca, amen, you rip that card in half and you give that to both of us. I don't know why.
Speaker 3:I don't know why but I don't know honking like a goose I don't know what kind of heat you think you're packing.
Speaker 1:That fucking sent me. It was like you had the most like sincere tones, like listen. I'm sure it's great, I'm sure you're very proud of it, I'm sure it's mighty fine.
Speaker 2:But it ain't shit kid that's notice how I wasn't like insulting, I was just matter of fact she's like that's captain jv at best. I didn't invalidate whatever you were feeling.
Speaker 1:Oh my god.
Speaker 2:But I did address the concern. Oh my god.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, holy shit. So that's a twofer for each of y'all. Who is most likely to volunteer for a one-way trip to Mars? Me, send me home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not me. I'm done, Get me out of here.
Speaker 3:You can have that one.
Speaker 1:I saw Total Recall. I want the chick with the three boobs. Sign me up.
Speaker 2:They would have no way of like. They would be like Kyle, do you read? And you would just be like all fucking off somewhere. You wouldn't even like started putting together your shit. You'd be looking for like dirt, like weird rocks. I said it's everywhere. Get used to it, kyle, do you read? Nope, I can't. I can't read. He was supposed to put together this greenhouse but he's been making a rocket ship out of the box because he wants to leave, because he was bored, because he was bored I don't know doing things, white cheeks with crystals and dreadlocks, dude, I'm just stacking rocks on one another oh, you would totally have weird rock sculptures everywhere.
Speaker 2:I'd be like some blair witch. Shit, your little mars crafts oh wait a minute.
Speaker 1:New channel name. Uh, who is most likely going commando right now? Um, no comments next I'm not who is more likely to have the weirdest imaginary friend? Listen, I have weird. I have weird real life friends.
Speaker 2:Like I don't need imaginary friends for it oh, you think I have a weirder imaginary friend than you, miss hollow, I must say I was like all right, who's who's weirder, who's who's ai is weirder, I'm going.
Speaker 1:I'm going angie on this one. I'm going angie on this one. I did. I'm literally pulling all of one. I'm going Angie on this one. Oh, you pulled that card. Oh man, I did. I'm literally pulling all of the cards.
Speaker 2:I'm literally pulling the cards, mine's very grounded, you cannot deny.
Speaker 1:Yours is very undergrounded.
Speaker 2:Now listen. Hers is mad at me right now. Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, who's most likely to end up as a trophy spouse? Fuck, god damn it remember there is a participation trophy, so it didn't say which trophy, it just said a trophy.
Speaker 3:Let me cough my shame so read the question who would be a?
Speaker 1:who is more, who is most likely to end up as a trophy spouse? Remember, you remember trophy wives from fucking sopranos, yeah yeah which?
Speaker 2:which one of us is a who?
Speaker 3:gets this card.
Speaker 2:Who gets this card?
Speaker 3:Becca gets it.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, this one, I think I don't know. I'm just going to say it, I'm just going to read it first.
Speaker 2:You said it.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to say it first. I think Angie gets this one by default.
Speaker 3:Oh, God, what is it? Who's?
Speaker 1:most likely? Who's most likely to sleep with her cousin?
Speaker 2:oh, listen, listen are you even saying right now this accusation?
Speaker 3:you're in the south, you're in the south come on, it's just like it's what you guys do straight up slander.
Speaker 2:I've never seen such a mud slinging in my life listen, listen that's it.
Speaker 3:You're off the podcast.
Speaker 1:You no longer remember it's only one state below yours. I mean there's a lot of states below yours, but I'm talking about like on the like, socialist. There's only one.
Speaker 3:That's worse, like oh, I don't know. I think you think of, I can think of at least five you know what.
Speaker 2:Let's put it to a vote. I think kyle would fuck his cousin you ain't seen any of my cousins no, oh no, there's three of us. You were outvoted, I will.
Speaker 1:I will say this, though there's a higher possibility that I would sleep with a cousin and not know it, because of a very large family I mean, if this was a game of thrones situation and I were a targaryen, you best believe.
Speaker 2:That's different, though is much different, much different, yeah, no I am not a targaryen is much different much different. Yeah, no, I am not a targaryen.
Speaker 1:I wish matt smith was my uncle, oh, all right oh gosh anyway, anyway, ang gets no, ange does not get that one.
Speaker 3:Absolutely fucking not.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, I promise.
Speaker 3:I promise she's not making the final cut.
Speaker 1:Okay, I promise I will remove that. I swear to God I'm removing it from the piles. But we all know where that card belongs. We all know where that one belongs. We all know where that one belongs.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:It sounds like it. You were literally making the same noise that Darth Vader was in Return of the Jedi, before they take his mask off.
Speaker 2:I've lost the ability to laugh. It's coming out as like a dry wheeze from my chest. Okay, I've collected myself.
Speaker 1:Whose glory days are behind them. Is that a three-way tie? Yeah.
Speaker 2:We all peep. Let's face it, that's a three-way tie. I like how we all just sighed.
Speaker 1:We all suck, don't we? You do for sure. What.
Speaker 3:What Nothing Thumbass says what?
Speaker 1:Who has less respect for personal space? I feel like Becca.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I think you, I know Becca a little better, becca, absolutely.
Speaker 2:What a hot take.
Speaker 1:first of all, I don't know, I don Becca absolutely.
Speaker 2:What a hot take first of all, I don't know, I don't know, man, something about it, absolutely Okay. First, of all you are wrong, second of all. You are so wrong, Kyra I would have to say like, like, just the fact that me and Angie Are such black cats and you're such a golden Retriever, like when you have the zoomies. Personal space doesn't exist to you.
Speaker 1:You're knocking over tables and shit no, like it really did, but like okay. So on the episode, you guys that we're just kind of talking about, like you guys being roommates, like I can definitely see, like angie, just like sitting there, just like hanging out, just like playing a game or whatever it is or reading something, and you literally just come and sit like on her leg and be like what you doing? Like fucking off, like no, you don't understand.
Speaker 2:Like we're having a serious discussion of when we meet in person for the first time. If it warrants a hug, like that's me and angie's conversation.
Speaker 3:Like are we gonna touch each other like, do we?
Speaker 2:need to. I mean, I love you so much. I've never seen you before. I'm so fucking stoked to see you, but don't fucking touch me.
Speaker 3:But are we gonna put our hands on each other like, but like do not fucking touch me exactly 100.
Speaker 2:Maybe all of us respect the fuck out of personal space. Is that what we learned today? We all fuck.
Speaker 1:We all respect personal space we all fuck your personal space, but we respect this shit out of your personal space yeah, we know what to do with personal space.
Speaker 2:Let's say that it went to my personal space, yep that do stay out of my personal space.
Speaker 1:Let's say that it went. Stay out of my personal space. Yep, that too. Stay out of my personal space. Yep, that's a three-way also. Okay, who gives the least to charity Me? I'm just kidding, probably me.
Speaker 2:Okay, does anybody remember the last time they gave to charity Not the stripper that you put that quarter? In oh then no, Then oh then no then no, I don't let the record show we are not talking down on shippers that they do not need charity. No, no, no, no, no. They do not. They make more money than I do. Fuck so much.
Speaker 3:If anything, they should be talking down about me jeez, I've shown you all pictures of the mansion that's right down the road that is owned by a stripper what's up? Up, hell yeah.
Speaker 1:That quarter goes a long way, man. She took it, she invested it. Good on her. She bought some titcoin with it.
Speaker 2:Titcoin Ha Okay, you bastard.
Speaker 1:You're welcome.
Speaker 2:Next question.
Speaker 1:Who is more likely to secretly hate everyone here?
Speaker 2:that has to be angie angie she has to deal with me. And kyle yeah, she's like. I love them individually.
Speaker 1:I do not like them together but like together, it's just like the fucking worst favorite people in the world when their powers are combined, worst but with our power combined we are super dumb ass. Yeah, that's angie super dickhead that's a big dickhead big old dickhead bbdh, that's us bbdh who has the better haircut.
Speaker 2:Come on probably like kyle I would. I would guess, definitely me.
Speaker 1:My hair is fucking because we just my hair. My hair is fucking gorgeous long hairs.
Speaker 2:My hair is fucking gorgeous.
Speaker 1:It absolutely was nice. Who last made a small child cry? I have a feeling it was either me or becca. Does it count if it's your own children?
Speaker 3:right, it just says a child.
Speaker 1:So yeah, okay, so it's it's so I children, right, it just says a child. So yeah, okay. So I think by default I wouldn't let him play in the street today.
Speaker 2:if you're wondering how I made my child cry, oh, I just looked at my daughter.
Speaker 1:She just didn't like it. It was literally like five minutes before we started recording she was there. I was like hey, she was like yeah. It was either my face or it was the teeth coming in. It was one or the other. So yeah, Becca, why not? Who is more likely to be wearing soiled underwear?
Speaker 2:But we're all commando Right? I was trying to think.
Speaker 3:Remember that last question.
Speaker 2:We learned something else about the Black Curtain Club today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're about to learn this one who is more likely to stalk somebody. It's tricky.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it is very tricky. I don't feel like I don't know.
Speaker 2:We all have such a particular skill set. We all bring so much to the table. If we had a mutual target.
Speaker 1:They're fucked. I feel like angie I don't know if she's gonna go full-blown to stalk someone she'll. She will do all of the investigating, so she'll put colombo and batman to fucking shame, okay but I don't know she's actually gonna like out of her way to like stalk somebody you know. And that's where, like, depending on the reason of them being stalked, I can see becca just being like the loose cannon, just like where's this fucker live? And then just like, get it just see.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't mean to stalk people, it just kind of happens because I'm so observant and I never leave my fucking house. Like I notice everything that happens in the neighborhood. I notice if somebody has been gone for a couple of days so you're just nosy as fuck I know what all of their footprints look like in the snow, like I could tell if somebody different was here because there's different shoes. That's pretty creepy.
Speaker 1:I don't mean to stalk people, it just happens I think there's a fine line between stalking people and paranoia, so as I needed that validated the fuck out of me, I guess.
Speaker 2:I think we're just a bunch of stalkers, kind of we have the ability to be stalkers I would say we're not stalking people actively. I would hope yeah no, no, except for that one person, yeah, that one guy.
Speaker 1:Well, who is more likely to kill you by cooking you dinner?
Speaker 2:Do you guys want some broccoli cheddar soup?
Speaker 1:It's definitely Becca. It's not up for debate. I cook with spite. I'm not one of those mothers that cooks with love. It's not up for debate.
Speaker 2:I give people dysentery on purpose, so I don't have to cook again.
Speaker 1:Who would survive the longest in a gangland prison cell? Becca yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's becca yeah, becca for sure who is easier to get into bed?
Speaker 1:probably becca. It was just a fun follow-up.
Speaker 2:Who would eat the other on a desert island Becca?
Speaker 3:would for sure be the first to resort to cannibalism.
Speaker 2:I'm never getting away from these Wendigo allegations, am I?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Listen, you don't need all your fingers. Let me get a pinky. Let me gnaw on a thumb, you know what I mean. I feel like this one might be another one that probably hits a little too hard to hone. But who is going to go further in life, angie?
Speaker 2:Not, I said the cat, not, I said the cat.
Speaker 1:You're going places, kid. That's good to know. You're going places, kid. Yeah, angie, absolutely. I ain't saying it's to the top, I ain't saying it's to an institution. I'm just saying you're going places. You're going places, yeah, you're going places, that's it. Who who looks like they've had a more stressful life?
Speaker 2:we all have that haunted look in our eyes like we've stumbled out of the horrors beneath. Yeah, it's a three-way. We've been road hard and put away wet the three of us who can piss the furthest? I just had like a mental image of what that contest would look like. It made me laugh so hard. I know we would like all. We would all start laughing. It would just be everywhere, Okay.
Speaker 1:But also at the same time it would just turn into a giggle pit, the fact that all three of us I don't know if we all thought the same thing some form of like the. The carnival game where you got to like fill the balloon, you got to shoot. Carnival game, where you gotta like fill the balloon, you gotta shoot the little target with like the hose. For whatever reason, the song that is playing is the race song from Super Mario 64, when you have to race that giant Koopa.
Speaker 2:I don't know why in your guys' mental head movie were we all laying on our backs? For some reason?
Speaker 1:You guys were, I was standing.
Speaker 3:In mine. You and I were on our backs. He was standing right in the middle of us.
Speaker 2:We were all laying down in mine like a bunch of cockroaches. Yes, I was in the middle.
Speaker 3:I don't know why.
Speaker 2:Yes, you were in the middle, god, one fucking brain cell between the three of us. I swear I know I love how that tickled us so much who would best represent humanity at an intergalactic planetary convention?
Speaker 1:all right, I'm just gonna go ahead and say this one I feel like the three of us In this situation. We are the three characters From GTA 5.
Speaker 2:We have no business Anywhere near that fucking meeting. I was going to say Angie, angie because she has the big girl job, but then again Angie is a very remote work from home situation like an in person intergalactic meeting. I could already see how that would go we'd be fucked and then there's us, and then there's us you're like.
Speaker 3:You mean to tell me this could not have been a fucking email yeah, a gort mail.
Speaker 2:Whatever the fuck aliens send each other gort mail I'm still voting angie I think she would be the closest we'd have to a respectable representative out of the three of us. It would be. It would be very tense. It really should not be me or kyle no, they just, they just't. I would try to fuck one of them.
Speaker 1:I know it which is funny because I was going to say the same thing about me. He goes like you would be trying to sleep with them. Someone's trying to fuck someone. They're trying to fuck me. I'm trying to fuck them. That's how.
Speaker 2:Angie got elected, wade me and Kyle made rounds. I can't show my face in that meeting. Bears back shots, battlestar Galactica, oh fuck.
Speaker 3:It's a vote for.
Speaker 2:Angie.
Speaker 3:It's like it's just a fucking PR nightmare.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, definitely, angie. Like I said, I wouldn't be embarrassed by my search history, it's just it's random.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of variety.
Speaker 1:If anything has to get cut, it's totally fine. Who's hairier down there? Not I said the cat.
Speaker 3:Not, I said the fly.
Speaker 1:Okay, does my ass count? Because if it's my ass then-. Yeah, it counts, it counts. That's definitely me. It's not, it's definitely me.
Speaker 2:Hey, let me ask you this Kyle, is your ass up there? It is. If the other two contestants have no ass there, then by default. I don't know that I don't know how you'll live your life. Listen, don't put us in a wind tunnel, oh shit.
Speaker 3:Fucking.
Speaker 1:Christ man. You know, if they tune into this episode and none of the other ones, they're going to think Becca's the funny one.
Speaker 2:I don't think anybody's going to think that. I think they're going to think Becca's the psychotic one, yeah, the funny one.
Speaker 1:Who's been dumped more times?
Speaker 2:Not to be that person. I don't know that I've ever been dumped.
Speaker 1:Sorry Ange.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think I'm going to call that on myself.
Speaker 2:Probably me. I've been abandoned. One abandoned me. I mean I'm not sure he's alive. It was beyond ghosting. He like corpse me.
Speaker 1:He could be dead or alive, I don't fucking know he corpse me it doesn't count if they died.
Speaker 2:If anybody sees Jose, let me know. Oh, that narrows it down.
Speaker 1:Who has the weirdest taste in men or women?
Speaker 3:Becca has weird taste in both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, switch hitter over here.
Speaker 3:Equal opportunity I don't know, Becca wins this one. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:That was just formalities. I just had to read it Like Pyramid had solidified it enough.
Speaker 2:This is for the record, yeah.
Speaker 1:This is for the record. Who was more likely to eat food out of the trash?
Speaker 2:Ew, not me Kyle.
Speaker 1:I mean, I've done it. Like what did we just admit it to? We've done it.
Speaker 2:Talking to two people who, like if they came out with a nourishment cube so you didn't have to eat every day, like you could just have your cube, me and angie would pick the cube every fucking time. Eating is a chore, yeah, so hey, pop quiz, hot shots.
Speaker 1:What do you think is the cleanest anus? It's got to be in a drill fucking bubble baths like by default. She takes like so many bubble baths like she suziedes her ass like she runs a tight ship.
Speaker 2:Consider her neck swabbed.
Speaker 1:She is pristine, oh yeah this, yeah this, who's most likely to get into larping me? Yeah, just duh it's just real life. Who is more likely to try to catfish somebody?
Speaker 2:we all.
Speaker 1:If we all had motive, I think we would all do it I think I would do it to see if I could, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know let's see if I still have games. Okay, kyle, if you were to catfish, would you want to do it as a woman, just to see if you could like be a convincing woman? Like would you try to catfish? Would you want to do it as a woman just to see if you could like be a convincing woman? Like would you try to catfish a man?
Speaker 1:No, because I feel it would be too easy, Like I would just be one.
Speaker 2:You think it would be too easy.
Speaker 1:Men are so simple, we're so simple. All I have to do is find one picture of any woman and then just be like the nastiest, dirtiest, whatever.
Speaker 2:I nastiest, just the nastiest dirtiest whatever.
Speaker 1:I just I love how like he's so convinced he can seduce a man. I love it. It's so easy we're so easy.
Speaker 2:He's like bugs, bunny and elmer fun yeah, yeah, how'd that dude act?
Speaker 1:like peppa the pew off of like one fucking picture, like, yeah, fucking done, I could google a rent. I can just go to google, type in random woman, not even go. Take someone that I would actually know like from the internet, like on a facebook post or something, it's a random picture. Make a tinder account, guarantee this guy wants to meet in like 45 minutes. Because it's just like, hey, I'll do that thing with the's like fucking bet there's a burger king it.
Speaker 2:It would be so funny if you got stood up like you would never tell us if it didn't go through.
Speaker 1:Your bride would be so hurt there would be, there would be signs. There would be signs, there would be, there would be signs, and by the signs means ever since he went on that date.
Speaker 2:He just kind of sits there all depressed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh no I'd be institutionalized in Suicide Watch. You want to talk about earth shattering?
Speaker 2:It's the last blow to his ego. He couldn't handle it.
Speaker 1:Who would die first in a horror movie?
Speaker 2:It depends.
Speaker 1:It really does depend.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to be too morbid, but I don't think between the three of us there's a very high chance that day one shit's going down. We're like I wasn't even having any fun, the regular way things were going, but also what horror movie is it?
Speaker 1:Because if it's Silent Hill, it's probably going to be you, because you're going to try to fuck them. Oh, it's Last of Us?
Speaker 2:Oh, because if it's Silent Hill, it's probably going to be you, because you're going to try to fuck them. Oh, it's Last of Us. Oh, if it was Silent. Hill, if Silent Hill is you, it's like a long day one.
Speaker 1:Like willingly. You were like my time has come.
Speaker 2:Right no-transcript is an evil situation if albert wesker is out there somewhere.
Speaker 1:I am living just for that possibility but say once again you're probably dying at some point because you're going to try to fuck them.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be a very excelligioni like end up a pile of bodies on a cargo ship.
Speaker 1:It also depends. He was like okay, who you running first? Him, Jill Nemesis?
Speaker 2:Who do you run into first, jesus? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Bachelorette. I'm'm gonna give a roast to everybody. The most fucked up episode of the bachelorette. I would tune into that season religiously I would clear my schedule. It's just creatures and like one dude named hank from accounting. You know what I mean and you know who. You want to know what Hank from Accounting looks like. He looks like Stanley Tucci's character from Loves the Bones. He looks exactly like him.
Speaker 2:Oh no, you have my number, dude. Oh, he's in my. Hear me out.
Speaker 3:Yes, I was going to say you don't know her. You don't know her. Like I said, Hank fromurtaza, all you had to do was say Stanley Tucci Becca loves slutty knees.
Speaker 1:Slutty knees. It's my favorite, the slutty knees. Yeah, who's more likely to pull a Roman throw up on purpose to fit more food or booze?
Speaker 2:Okay, do you know what a tactical chunder is?
Speaker 1:And with that we're skipping this card and going to the next.
Speaker 2:No, I'm saying like my go-to. When I'm drinking, like I don't like to sleep with it in me, I always pull a tactical chunder. I always throw up before I go to bed, no matter what.
Speaker 1:And what your shower too, right yeah always.
Speaker 2:I always shower too. I always shower when I'm drunk.
Speaker 1:I mean, I shower when I'm sober too, too. It's just like what normal people do back there. You know, you don't have to be drunk to shower no, I just like showers more when I'm drunk you shower more when you're drunk, gotcha, it's like I'm fighting the water, she turns into a water witch just cackling with her fucking broccoli cheddar soup.
Speaker 2:In the shower.
Speaker 1:It just gets worse the more we talk about them.
Speaker 2:I only wish to catch a fish, so juicy I'm trying to get it out of the can. I'm like beating it inside of the bathtub like Smeagol and the fish.
Speaker 1:Oh God, I haven't left the house since I was a little girl. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Hi Gunnar.
Speaker 1:Who won't be recognized at their high school reunion? Me, because I ain't going.
Speaker 3:Same Did you go to your high school reunion. Angie, I have gone, yes, Fucking loser.
Speaker 2:Did they recognize you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like unfortunately I haven't aged much, so yeah, I'm going gonna go ahead and say this one I haven't changed well, hey, that's a good thing, right, this one's another three-way tie.
Speaker 1:Who's who is more badass?
Speaker 3:I think it's all three of us oh thanks kyle, yeah, I mean I'm not, but thank you, yeah, I'm glad you think so who is most likely to own a sex toy?
Speaker 2:three-way tie madam says who you don't own a sex toy not one oh, I find that hard to believe okay if one is owned by the family.
Speaker 1:I feel like that count is that what you're trying to tell us? I?
Speaker 2:don't? It's a fucking weird way to say that it's a very weird way to say that. I was gonna say like, if, if your partner has one and you have used that, I feel like that counts, like that is owned by the relationship.
Speaker 1:It's like it's like a renting it's like grandfathered in.
Speaker 2:If you've had to tag it in, it counts as yours yes, 100 the answer remains okay oh gosh, listen, benchwarmers are players too oh shit, oh okay.
Speaker 1:Well, I just want to read this one and we can cut it out if needed. It's fine. Who is best described by the term functional alcoholic?
Speaker 3:oh, definitely kiel over there what was that sound my throat made uh that's what she said kyle, I think that would be you.
Speaker 1:I'm giving you that.
Speaker 2:Drunk. Becca is once in a blue moon. She does not come out often. Who's?
Speaker 1:better looking. Angie, it's literally one of the questions who's better looking?
Speaker 2:Angie's the best looking. She's the face of the operation. I don't know about that. One thing I will say none of us are ugly. Three good looking people.
Speaker 1:I mean, I look, I mean.
Speaker 3:I look, I look. I don't think it's a three way tie.
Speaker 1:No-transcript becca becca really yeah yeah guys what's this a?
Speaker 2:thing?
Speaker 1:though. Well, hold on, hold on, I have really bad stage fright though you do. But then you just go up there and you literally just say how your day went, and then they'll just fucking laugh my life is fucking hell. You're just like reading your autobiography and they're just like fuck, this is great.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean I woke up crying today, you depressed bitch, sad sack of shit we love it makes us feel about our own shitty lives.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, that's all you gotta do. Beckham crusher open mic night it worked for me I'm Sure. It did.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But at the same time.
Speaker 2:Just get up there and take my shirt off. Yeah, the rest of the street Next thing I know Kyle's throwing quarters at me Got her shirt throughout the day.
Speaker 1:Chance of clearing up in the PM. You know what this is. Yeah, who has the more outrageous fetish?
Speaker 2:What do you think? My outrageous fetish is pyramid head sad trick, baby come on is that a fetish? It is now. Yeah, okay, you know what?
Speaker 1:fine, give it to me that's what you would say and he would be like, or whatever he does job interview I have for the rest of my life. They're gonna listen to this podcast you're like wildly overqualified and like waters are garden too much.
Speaker 2:Her search history is horrendous. She tries to fuck aliens obsessed with pyramid head.
Speaker 1:Oh, boy I don't know. Are we gonna have a? Are we gonna have a quad? Let's see, oh God.
Speaker 2:Calling me out.
Speaker 1:Who's better at faking orgasms?
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:I'm pretty good, I don't know, becca, I might have to fight you on that one. Oh, you know what, angie, you can have that one.
Speaker 2:I think sometimes I might be a little William Shatner with my performance.
Speaker 3:Oh, oh my performance. Oh, no, oh yes.
Speaker 1:There's something on the wing, Something Anyhow. Who would win a new dance-off?
Speaker 3:Oh, kyle, I'm going to say you, I'm not dancing.
Speaker 1:I'm just not, I'm just fucking not.
Speaker 3:Rebecca, do you cut a rug? I'm just not. She's like I'm just not. I'm just fucking not. I don't know, Becca, Do you cut a rug?
Speaker 2:I was in ballet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've also been playing with Legos for 30. Doesn't mean I'm a fucking architect.
Speaker 2:Okay, fucking, kyle, you're the best dancer. You're the best dancer. If we got into a dance fight, you would fucking win. Congratulations, kyle, you're a good dancer.
Speaker 1:No, fucking win. Congratulations, kyle, you're a good dancer. No, that's not. No, I'm not. No. No, kyle wins, you're gonna win in a dance battle.
Speaker 2:I'm not even gonna fucking dance, I'm just gonna look at you like you're stupid while you're dancing.
Speaker 1:Look at that fucking guy over there whose diary would be the weird, whose, who I can't even read? Whose diary would be the weirdest?
Speaker 3:Well, here's where whoever has a diary is fucking up. You never put anything in writing.
Speaker 2:Kyle is always scrolling in his little fucking journal. You know he's got some weird shit in there.
Speaker 1:We can fly past that but you know, in a diary or a journal I just see symbols and things and codes that I like and I just draw them in my little notebook that's really regular I just see things like a normal guy normalist guy I know pay no mind here, it's just I. There was a bunch of lines and a couple squiggles in a different way.
Speaker 2:That brought me serotonin so, diary, it's a manifesto it's not his whole rebuttal was.
Speaker 1:It's not who's the kindest eyes? Minor assholes.
Speaker 2:So you got me ugly laughing god so just normal laughing for you, gotcha again, I have very haunted eyes. I think that ang Angie has very nice eyes. I have haunted eyes. I look like a fucked up owl.
Speaker 1:If you were an owl, you wouldn't go. Who are you going to?
Speaker 2:watch. Angie told me I look like a tree frog once.
Speaker 3:I was going to go ahead and say Angie has kind eyes.
Speaker 2:No, that was a happy little tree frog still a tree frog.
Speaker 1:Still a tree frog, you polish, a turd it's still a turd, kyle.
Speaker 2:Kyle said I look like a turd, so maybe kyle has nice eyes. I don't know anymore, I just know I'm shit. I don't even know what color kyle's eyes are no one knows what color my eyes are.
Speaker 1:I've had three different ids. They've all said different fucking things I'm never looking at his eyes. I'm looking to see if he's holding a pencil I mean, we established the day that I was a vampire, so maybe I'm one of those fucking twilight ones that their eyes change colors right oh, that said turn down, not turn on what uh, it said who is more likely to get turned down for organ donation. I thought it said who's most likely to get turned on by organ donation. I don't think they want my organs.
Speaker 2:I don't think they want my organs.
Speaker 1:I don't think they can take ours.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we might all be fucked.
Speaker 1:Like we're not even spare parts, we're so polluted.
Speaker 2:I drink so much Coke Zero Like I can't remember the last time I had just a glass of water.
Speaker 1:I have nicotine for breakfast Like I'm fucked they won't even let me check that box on my license's like. No, trust me, we've seen it. You're good, you can keep them. You can cross over a hole, sweetie, when I try.
Speaker 2:I'm like I want the heart no, get out.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to do a heart, but you come with a fucking warning label. So, if you want, there's so much ethanol in your fucking system when you go to get cremated so you don't fucking blow up. Uh, who had the ugliest prom date? Well, I went stag.
Speaker 3:So I wasn't allowed to go to prom I forgot.
Speaker 2:You grew up in the footloose town. I grew up in a footloose religion. Oh, you called that movie foot tight.
Speaker 1:I tried, I tried who has the best come to bed voice. I was gonna try to do that one but like, so you mean like come to bed? Because I feel like Becca doesn't have a come to bed voice. She has a get to bed voice. Because, like once, once again, I just see you hunched over like the witch with your fucking suit. Just like bitch, you gonna take slumber.
Speaker 2:I've never been read so properly in my life. A medical professional couldn't clock me like that.
Speaker 1:I literally just see you hunched over like the life A medical professional couldn't clock me like that. I literally just see you hunched over like the fucking lady with the apple in Snow White.
Speaker 3:But they have an apple.
Speaker 1:It's some fucking Panera broccoli cheddar.
Speaker 2:Come lover, I must feast on your dreams, right.
Speaker 1:Yours isn't enticing, it's a demand.
Speaker 2:But like, why do they want to go so bad? Like they don't understand they will what's happening to me? That song disturbio was written about me. Why do I feel like this? I was sitting today by myself and I was like man, I hope the conversation flows okay. I was like maybe I should think of some questions to ask in case things get slow. I only wrote one, and it's what animals do you think could rip a human in half?
Speaker 1:Almost all of them.
Speaker 2:My pick was hippo.
Speaker 1:I'm flicking on the overthinking part of the brain. Does it count the way? My ripping means grabbing and pulling apart, either with hands or whatever. Hippos, just kind of bite you in half. Does that count as ripping?
Speaker 2:you in half. Ripping of the flesh does not require hands. You can rip something with teeth, that's true.
Speaker 1:But I feel like they just bite you in half, Like I don't feel like they rip.
Speaker 2:Okay, are you going to measure to see which one rips somebody perfectly in half? No, no, I don't 50-50 split, no, but I just. Are you going to come in with your fucking ruler and make sure they did it properly or they get disqualified?
Speaker 1:Listen.
Speaker 2:It's an animal, kyle, listen. I don't know what a fucking ruler is.
Speaker 1:They don't know the difference between ripping and tearing. When you're talking like that, I'm just like I feel like they're just kind of biting you in half and like gnawing you. There's not like an actual ripping, it's like a crushing that they'd be doing like an alligator or a gorilla oh yeah, a gorilla is definitely ripping you in half I rest my.
Speaker 2:I rest my case sharks exactly.
Speaker 1:A shark would definitely ripping you in half. I rest my case. Shark, exactly. A shark is good. A shark would definitely be ripping in half. That's more of a yes, absolutely, I just feel a hippo is a crush, it's crushing. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to say I'm going to say humans, I'm saying humans, ripping humans in half, man man, I'm just saying all these guys, now that guy over there you know who could uh rip me in half and I wouldn't even question it.
Speaker 1:Tom hardy, tom hardy. I was like I don't know how much more time do we have left on this one, because there's a fucking list. Apparently him, jeffrey dean, morgan, henry cavill, half the cast of the Avengers, right.
Speaker 3:Like I'm not wrong See. No. So it's like no, you're very right.
Speaker 2:You know, Is there anybody you wouldn't let rip you in half?
Speaker 3:No, hey, no, stop that.
Speaker 1:Who was that Pilates instructor on Calcutta? Don Don. Yeah, he had that weird mole on his face, fuck Don.
Speaker 2:Hey, fuck you Don Don. Yeah, he had that weird mole on his face.
Speaker 1:Fuck Don, fuck you Don, stupid dick. Yeah, hank from accounting, he's yours.
Speaker 3:Alright, who's gonna play us out? Play me out.
Speaker 2:Johnny.
Speaker 1:It's gotta be Becca.
Speaker 2:Hey, all you cool cats and kittens. So so this episode, this episode, so this episode was so fun because I missed you guys so much this weekend. We went our separate ways, so this was really fun to not just like sit down, do like a scripted presentation style episode, like the questions. I feel like we learned a lot about each other right too much, one would say too much yeah way too, much um.
Speaker 2:If you enjoyed this episode, we have at least 18 others in the vault for you to check out. Remember to like and subscribe wherever you get podcasts. We are the black curtain Club on all social media. We put out new episodes every single Monday.
Speaker 3:Sometimes we forget how to speak.
Speaker 2:I don't know what else to say.
Speaker 1:Say goodnight Becca.
Speaker 2:Hey, goodnight Becca, hey goodnight Becca bye, say bye, kyle, bye sorry, bye Kyle.
