The Silly Goose Society
A podcast for the delightfully curious and easily distracted. Kyle and Angi chat music, movies, cryptids, ghosts, weird history, and whatever derails them next. Half research, half chaos, all goose energy.
The Silly Goose Society
S1E4: What If
What if a single missing book, a single missed strike, or a single friendship reshaped the world you woke up to today? We tug on the biggest loose threads in history and see how far they run—from the lost stacks of the Library of Alexandria to a Viking-flavored North America and the WWII traffic jam that might have flipped the map of Europe. It’s a curious blend of big ideas, real stakes, and unfiltered laughs that keeps the heavy stuff human.
We start with the tension that powers every alternate timeline: fate versus free will. If the world turns on cascading choices, then losing Alexandria wasn’t just a tragedy—it was a hard reset on our tech timeline. We dig into ancient engineering with a practical eye, from battery-like artifacts to the unsolved puzzle of lighting sealed chambers without burning the air. When knowledge builds on knowledge, losing early rungs delays everything from medicine to energy—and accelerates nothing but myth. Yet faster progress isn’t always better; move the nuclear era forward a few centuries and curiosity might outrun caution.
If you love mind-bending what-ifs, grounded history, and a little chaos to keep it honest, hit play. Subscribe, share with a friend who argues about alternate timelines, and leave a review with your boldest what-if—we’ll read our favorites on air.
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And this guy is in Egypt and he was pissed at the the quality of copper that he received from this vendor, and he was so pissed that he chiseled a like complaint letter.
SPEAKER_00:It's fantastic. I'm gonna invent writing.
SPEAKER_02:And there was like there were like this one vendor, they have found several different complaint like letters chiseled. How mad do you have to be to go home and chisel a letter out in rock?
SPEAKER_00:You have any idea how mad you have to be to go home, learn how to read and write, and then learn and then get into it.
SPEAKER_02:I'm just gonna before we begin today's episode, we would like to share a quick disclaimer. The views, opinions, and statements expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast are their own personal views and are provided in their own capacity. All content is editorial, opinion-based, and intended for entertainment purposes only. Listener discretion is advised.
SPEAKER_00:Hey Angie, I got a question for you.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah?
SPEAKER_02:You ever think never. Never that's the problem in my life. I never think.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's probably the wrong question. I should have thought before I asked that question.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:What if we could go back in time and think before we've done stuff?
SPEAKER_02:Oh man. My life would be probably a lot different and we wouldn't know each other.
SPEAKER_00:That's very true. What if we didn't know each other?
SPEAKER_01:Oh man.
SPEAKER_00:We wouldn't have a podcast.
SPEAKER_01:We wouldn't have a podcast, right? Or I'd be stuck near mine.
SPEAKER_00:Good stuff. Oh my god, maybe that'll be Anyhow.
SPEAKER_02:Go ahead.
SPEAKER_00:Welcome back to another what what is it? A gathering, a recording? Welcome back to another meeting of the Silly Goose Society.
SPEAKER_01:There you go.
SPEAKER_00:There we go. We'll live to the finish with this. Whatever. It's a podcast. We're gonna talk about what ifs today. You like it? Good. You don't, go fuck yourself. How about that? There you go. There's a fucking intro.
SPEAKER_02:Can we just do all of our intros like that?
SPEAKER_00:I think we should. Just chaos.
SPEAKER_02:Today we're gonna talk about that. And if you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:And then we just proceed.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself. And then our Danny Elfman intro music right there.
SPEAKER_02:Right. You say it a lot better. You have that like that Boston. I don't want to say it's not like a Boston, but it's a it's a That's a New York tough guy. Yeah, it's a very specific like accent.
SPEAKER_00:It's like a it's like it's like a wise guy kind of thing.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I just have a southern fuck.
SPEAKER_00:I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_02:I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_00:Anywho, all seriousnesses. Um this is some type of this is a little bit of a trope that's not if it's trope, it's just something that's always kind of stuck with me, fascinated me, or whatever it is. It's just uh before Marvel got such a fucking heart on for it, though I did love the show, um alternate realities. What if this happened instead of that? What if this was like that? You know what I mean? So just the age-old question of what if everything from uh tremendous moments in history, uh I I guess uh what if uh you know, what if the Titanic never sank? What if this happened instead of that at that battle? What happened if Napoleon did win at the Battle of Waterloo? Shit like that. People always kind of talked about that. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And then all the way of uh and then all the way up to um, you know, oh, what if Mario Manningham didn't catch the I think it was Mario Manningham. What if the guy didn't fucking catch the ball in his helmet in the Super Bowl with the Patriots? I'll tell you what would have happened. We would have fucking won that one and went undefeated all goddamn season. But I digress. Motherfuckers. Shit like that, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:No, I think I think those kind of questions are interesting because then it's gonna okay. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna rabbit hole, but you know, it goes it goes into that philosophy, it's almost like the butterfly effect. If one thing didn't happen, what else wouldn't happen? And would our you know, your life be the same? It doesn't necessarily mean it would be good or worse, but it would be different.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:And you wouldn't know if it was good or bad because you wouldn't know anything different.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly, which is why I just yeah love this stuff, but I also I know I hate it.
SPEAKER_02:I love it, but I hate it.
SPEAKER_00:I have to know my limits because I'm gonna level with y'all real quick. Get a little closer on this one. There's been a couple times in my life where I did go a little too deep in the rabbit hole and I was like borderline having like a manic episode. I don't remember what the topics were. I can just recall at least once or twice when I was a little bit younger. Like, I swear to god, I thought myself in circles and it was it was not okay. It was not good.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, we're good now. We know it turned out okay because here we are.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:But it's just it yeah, like very aggressive conversations we're having.
unknown:I think.
SPEAKER_00:Um yeah, which you know, I guess it's a little bit of a foreshadowing of a um another episode that we're gonna have coming up. I guess it always comes up with the uh okay, it's this one happy note to quote everyone's favorite little green guy, um always in motion the future is so is that the way it is? So when you do one thing, it's gonna have a different, you know, cause and effect. Right. So you you you you did this on this day, and that's everything completely changes now. Or is everything destined to be? You know, what's supposed to happen at this day is gonna happen at this day. Doesn't matter how it happens, it's just going it's always going to happen.
SPEAKER_02:Right. And I guess kind of going back to what we were goofing around about, like before, I I don't know if things were different. Were we you and I always supposed to have had this podcast? And no matter what would have happened, if you could go back in time and change things, would this still eventually our paths would converge and then we would still be here?
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. That's what's that's what's wild because what when the concept of this episode first came in, that was one of the things. It was what if we had never met, we didn't do the podcast or those, or or what if other things. And I started going back, I started kind of pulling that thread a little bit and going back, okay, so we this is how we met, this is how this happened, this what if that didn't happen? Well, that happened because of that, and that happened because of that, and not because of that, and blah blah blah blah blah. And the next thing you know, it was like, holy shit, because it got the soup instead of the salad that one time at that diner in fucking like 2006, son of a bitch, I'm now on a podcast.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you once you start pulling those threads, it absolutely is like wild, it's it's mind-boggling.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly, which is absolutely wild. I think my favorite one that I've seen in recently that is so insane was how what is it? Thanks to Thanks to 9-11, we have My Chemical Romance, yeah, Twilight, Fifty Shades, and Ellen DeGeneres lost her show.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I thought I when I first read that, I was like bullshit, and I was just like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_02:But yeah, you start pulling those threads, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Pull that threads because 9-11 happened. Ellen DeGeneris lost that up lost all of her public fame. She she was her career was tarnished because of 9-11.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:20 years down the road, not 20 years, but you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Whatever. Anywho, so somehow getting back into it. I guess we'll just start with uh some very broad ones, and every now and then she's kind of jumping onto it. Okay. And then if we're if we're gonna if we're gonna pull on strings, just fuck, just just just grip it and rip it.
SPEAKER_02:Just grip it and rip it, okay.
SPEAKER_00:Just grip and rip it. We're still talking about the the podcast episode, right?
SPEAKER_02:As far as I know, that's the story I'm sticking to.
SPEAKER_00:Anyway, I guess the first one I have to ask is one thing that for multiple reasons really kind of boggles my mind, and I've lost sleep thinking about this. Is what if the library of Alexandria was never burned down?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, why did I know you were gonna say this?
SPEAKER_00:I just I figured I would start right off with it because that is the one thing for me personally. I'm a firm believer why we have so many um, I believe a lot of modern conspiracy theories about ancient civilizations is because of the burning of Alexandria. I fullheartedly believe that. I believe that was where they had the knowledge of how the pyramids were built and how this was moved and that was moved, and so on and so forth. I'm sorry, I don't think aliens did all that stuff. I think we don't give the ancients enough credit for just how advanced they were, and I'm not trying to sound offensive on this one, but this was before Christianity and organized religion was butting its nose into fucking everything.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And was was shunning this and shunning that. I feel that they were much more technologically advanced.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Much easier. Like I guess we don't give them enough credit. Just because we don't know how to fucking do it now without lordly knows what, doesn't mean they didn't know. It doesn't mean that aliens had to come and help them. So what type of information was lost? What would the world look like if that library never burned?
SPEAKER_02:I think I think we would almost probably be more advanced than we already are. Well, yeah. I mean I can't.
SPEAKER_00:We don't know what we lost there because we lost it. So like I could once again, I could be completely wrong. Maybe it was aliens that did it, and they were just a bunch of fucking idiots back then. I could be completely wrong.
SPEAKER_02:Well, no, it's burnt, there's no record of it. No, I'm can't I'm going back to and and I'm gonna wait. I'm not probably gonna explain this correctly, and I'm gonna oversimplify it. So don't don't kill me, you know, people out there, don't you know, come for me on this. Um I was gonna say phrasing.
SPEAKER_00:I was just saying it goes like it. That's probably the very first time you've ever said that in your life.
SPEAKER_02:Anywho, I think it's called the Adam and Eve theory. And what it is do you know what this is?
SPEAKER_00:I m maybe okay.
SPEAKER_02:It's it's basically that we are we are c the earth is kind of just in this cycle, and and humanity is in on this cycle where we go from like point A to a certain point in the alphabet, and then all of a sudden there's this cataclysm, and almost like the the earth is like shaken, like turned completely upside down and shaken, and then humanity is knocked back to the basically you know, caveman days. We're we're completely knocked back, and there's only a few survivors, and then the cycle continues, and so that is way oversimplified because there's like probably like a 12-part documentary on on this theory, and there's books and all of this. Um but it it is it is interesting because you know, was all of that stuff in Alexandria that supports that theory?
SPEAKER_00:Exactly, exactly. So then I guess we'll pull on this one a little bit more before we move on, just because I it's one thing that I fucking love so much. Um let's go ahead and say that all the stuff that we thought exactly that, the calculations are um the calculations are there that uh you know for whatever, how you know, different physics that took us for fuck ever to learn how to do it. I'm gonna go ahead and say that because um I'm gonna go ahead and say that they had the very beginnings to um electricity and how electricity works. This was one of my favorite episodes of Mythbusters or whatever. Was um they had these two, it was one of like one of their specials that they had, one of the special ones that they had there, where it was like this one guy was like, look, they had alien death rays and blah blah blah, and look what they had, and they had this and they had that. And I think it was uh I think it was um it was Adam who was just like, no, like they had a flashlight, they had the beginnings of it. He goes, Look, look at the way this is, look at the way that is. It looks like a light bulb with this one. And more or less they proved that with what like with like ancient technology, because they're like, How did the ancient Egyptians navigate inside the pyramids? There's no windows, it's fuck dark in there. He goes, like the torches would have burned out, not only that, but they also would have some of the things are so small, they would have burned the they would have burned up all the breathable air using fire. So he was like, Well, they must have used flashlights. And what the fuck you mean flashlights? And he showed, he goes, Okay, so there's water and you know, salt and some okay, so yes, you have water and you have salt, and you have in here and you have in there and you have copper. When you put in water and salt and another thing, whatever, yeah. Go down, you you can make a battery. Yeah. That's what you need. You need like water, salt, and copper. So it makes all that, and once it gets, once a enough gets through it, it emits a light. So it's like they literally had flashlights, they had the very basics of electricity back then. You know, whatever thousand BC. Imagine if that so let's say that was in there. Would we have discovered technology would we have discovered electricity so much earlier?
SPEAKER_02:Well, yeah, because you know, a lot of knowledge is it's just built on what's known before, you know.
SPEAKER_00:It's and so yeah, we may have been hundreds and hundreds of years ahead and where we are now, we could be I think we'd have been closer to like what Wakanda is in the Marvel movies. I I'm I'm so serious. I'm so serious. I wholeheartedly believe if everything that is theorized or the conspiracies say that's the the knowledge that we lost, if we had that technology from then, we never lost all that knowledge. I'm a firm believer if we don't bomb ourselves a fucking oblivion before then. Because then just imagine everything that we had, you know, think about like how much more advanced like World War I would have been, how much more advanced like the Revolutionary War. You know what I mean? Yeah. We could have had tanks, the like the Revolutionary War.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, the H-bomb would have been found.
SPEAKER_00:Who the fuck does?
SPEAKER_02:Like hundreds and hundreds of years prior to when you know, it's it's yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. So it was like it was just it remember when we just when we discovered the atom bomb, their biggest fear was that they were going to light the atmosphere on fire, and they would have if they didn't get their shit right. So like imagine when there was all that trial and error back then, you didn't have some so some limitations is people were much curious and they weren't so that is the very I give credit where credit is due. If there's one decent thing God or gods or organized religion has been useful for, is that when you actually have a scientist who has both, you know, they are a scientist, but they're also a person of faith, right? They're yeah, they're they're they're religious kind of stops them. So they're like, no, we can't do this because this is this isn't what God would want, you know what I mean? So they're they're more careful, they're more cautious. If you don't have God scaring the shit out of you, you're just like, fuck it. See if you can cross a monkey and a rhino and like have at it. Like imagine they had like cloning technology back then.
SPEAKER_02:Fuck it. But has that stop gap hindered progress?
SPEAKER_00:Also that, exactly. Like because of that.
SPEAKER_02:We're gonna get way too deep into this.
SPEAKER_00:That's what I told you. That's what's scary about it. Okay, so we'll just change the subject super quick before we get too farther into this one.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Sound cool?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:What oh no, we can't go, we can't do that. We can't do that. That's just too much.
SPEAKER_02:Now I'm curious. We can cut it.
SPEAKER_00:What if the Roman Empire never collapsed?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, Jesus.
SPEAKER_00:We gone from Alex Alexandria never burnt, if the Roman Empire never collapsed. And I believe Jimmy Carwin he said that the Roman Empire never fell, it became the church, and the British Empire never fell, it became a bank.
SPEAKER_02:Any I thought you were gonna hit me with like, you know, what if they never discover discovered the uh pickling process and we wouldn't have pickles? Like, I know you hit me with the Roman Empire.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, I told you, I have I have a list of relatively serious what ifs. And because I just kind of figured that if we tried too hard and had silly what-ifs, it wouldn't flow organically, we'd be trying too hard. So I took like serious ones that, you know, or you know, that like dark series, like serious, you know, but it's like whatever. Um, okay, here's another decent one. What if what if the uh what if North America was permanently colonized by Leif Ericsson and the Vikings and not by the British, however many hundred years later.
SPEAKER_01:Oh man, that's a good one.
SPEAKER_00:And then once we're done with this one, we're gonna stay with on the train of North America and we'll do another one. But see, because once again it makes you think because they that's you're talking about two incredibly different cultures. And life in America, even in the early times in the settler times, that all came from the British culture of that time.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:We would have been found. So so the actual fundamentals of the United States or just the like I said just of North America really could have come from Viking culture, from Nordic culture.
SPEAKER_02:Well, i it kind of makes me wonder if so if that would have happened, I think that they would have done a hell of a lot better at probably integrating with Native American. I I think I think there would have been a lot less um I mean I know I know that like they were conquerors and there was a lot of violence in their culture, but I I feel like with all of the horrible atrocities, you know, with the American Indians would not have been the same.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_02:Cause I think there were like some cultural there were they were more closer in some cultural aspects than the Europeans and the American Indians. You know, they wouldn't have looked down on them as like I feel like the Europeans as they as they conquered, went around and conquered, they really just like looked down their nose at other cultures.
SPEAKER_00:They absolutely did. No, because yeah, they were colonized, they were conquerors as to where the Vikings were out for a good time, not a long time, as to where the colonists. I'm just gonna go and say it. The fucking British Empire was theirs was I mean, fucking even in goddamn Disney movies, they're just like, oh, we're here to settle your land and show you how to use your land properly. Yeah, what the fuck you talking about? Like that was their way. The Vikings were just like, you have cool shit. We want your cool shit. But there was a there was a mutual respect between like you said, so so they they were a violent culture, but it was just like, yo, like game notices and respect to game. So like when they came, if if they ran up against some of like the like let's say, okay, yeah, we'll go on that one. What if they did start colonizing it? Now imagine if the Vikings were settling North America and they started running into like Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull and some of the other, like the more um the Apaches, the more aggressive and warrior um tribes, like warrior-based tribes of the West and the Southwest of the Native Americans, like they would respect the shit out of them because the Vikings would most likely get the upper handy eventually because they did have they had metal and iron and copper. They had they had actual metal. Um they would they would learn the tactics and they would uh adapt. And so it would be so there would be a I felt that there would be a very it'd be a very bloody, a very rough stalemate. But like, but exactly like you said, they would be integrated into the society, they would learn from each other. Um, because like I said, he goes, holy shit, he goes, like I love fighting and doing all this other fun stuff. That's so funny because we love fighting and doing all this other fun stuff. Holy shit. Are you kidding me? Like, I feel they would like, bro, it would literally be dawn of justice. Just protect Martha! Why would you say Martha? Who's Martha? Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, like I mean just die in battle, just let me die in battle. You like to die in battle? I want to die in battle. Holy shit, me too!
SPEAKER_02:Like, did we yeah, and then it'd be like, you know, did we just become best friends?
SPEAKER_00:Yep, like that's a million percent what would happen.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think that's there definitely would have been battles and bloodshed, absolutely, just because you know, you've you can't, yeah. That's it's just a given that that's gonna happen. But I think that eventually there would have been a level of respect and um there would be less. This is now my land, and you can go fuck off into this little patch of land that I'm gonna give you that you can't do anything with. I don't think I don't think any of that would have happened.
SPEAKER_00:No, I absolutely don't. I don't because I because they never really did they colonize and set up settlements? Absolutely, but it wasn't for it wasn't for world domination, like all the different empires before them. There was no Viking Empire, there was no Viking Emperor, yeah, there was warlords, there was earls, but it was for their people. It was always for their people. I mean, yeah, there was the kings of Norway and whatnot, but even that, it was for their own kind of selfish glory. And there was very few not a whole lot of Viking kings died of old age.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Mainly because they always wanted to go back into battle even when they were like six years old, but still, like there wasn't a whole not a lot of them died of like natural causes. Like they died of natural disasters. Right. So it so so they had a very different mindset as to where, like you said, like the you know, the British showed up, they're like, this is ours now. Well, why? Well, because it's ours. Fucking deal with it. They just wanted death and glory. So I feel that those two cultures were I feel they were much more similar than people would believe. You know what I mean? Yeah, much, much more similar. Um probably than anyone would want to admit. Just like that, uh, there's that meme that goes through. It goes like what America sees itself as, and it's a picture of Henry Cavill's Superman, goes what what they really are, and it's homelander. It's kind of the same thing. It's kind of the same thing, like what the British Empire thinks they are, and it's like peace and happiness and prosperity and the Garden of Eden, what they really are, and it's like Helheim and like Ragnarok.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:The worst.
SPEAKER_02:Alright, you had another one about North America?
SPEAKER_00:I did have another one about North America. What if um Native American, like the tribes, actually settled their like settled their differences and were actually able to have a combined front against the Europeans? Because that was the big problem, was there was so much infighting with one another. Not because they were trying to just one out each other, but you know, there was there was so much turf war happening. And so the biggest problem was that like the French and Indian War, the British were able to persuade these tribes to fight against those tribes, and there was a lot more Native Americans fighting Native Americans on behalf of the British and their so what if all the Native Americans were like, Fuck you, dude, and they all fought against all of the Europeans.
SPEAKER_02:I think I think we would be living in a very different world.
SPEAKER_00:Europeans wouldn't have stood a chance, absolutely not. Mainly just be it's kind of like what everyone always says why no one invades the United States.
SPEAKER_01:Right?
SPEAKER_00:They know the land, they know it's not just like knowing cities, they know literally there was you know that they have to build the forts. So they literally have nothing as to where they they know the trees, they know the lands, they know how to live like that in this world already. It's the most like brutal guerrilla warfare there would be. Like if they all banded together, there would have been no Europeans. We would they would have not have settled. Absolutely. They would have kicked them into the sea.
SPEAKER_02:But you know, I I've had this conversation before with I don't know, maybe I've had this conversation with you. The thing that seems to be hardwired into human beings is that it seems like throughout history you have a lot of people that were subjugated by a few people. Do you know what I mean? And yeah, it's like the many can't figure out and can't can't settle their bullshit enough to say, hey, wait a minute. We look at all of us and look at them and look at what we know and the knowledge that we have and look at them, like how how different the world history would be if things like that happened, where, you know, just like you know, in uh Egypt, if you know, the slave class and the you know the all of those, you know, thousands and thousands and thousands of slaves that worked on the pyramids, you know, and in the diff, like if they had banded up against the pharaohs and you know those classes of people, like we one, we may not have the pyramids, and two, you know, it's just the world would be a very different place. And I don't understand this about human beings. Why it and I will sorry, you're I'm going down another rabbit hole here because you can watch this play out on every season of Survivor, and it irritates it. It irritates I can't watch the show anymore because I get watched a single episode of the so irritated because it's like the the weaker players never figure out that we need to take the strong players out, and then we can figure things out uh for ourselves, you know. They like they just go along with the stronger players and then they're all taken out, you know. Like, I don't it's just anyway, it's the same thing that you're saying with like the American Indian. If they would have been able to band together, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna absolutely run in your parade though. If uh if the slaves had banded together and rose up against the pharaohs, we would still have the pyramids because for the most part the pyramids were built by actual like citizens and workers and employees. There was a lot, there was a lot less. There was there still was like the conquerors and the conqueror in ancient Egypt. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there wasn't any, but there was a lot less than history will have you know. Like everyone thinks that not one, like that's the reason, and that's how ancient Egypt is. Everything was that and only that. When it it was a lot less. Which don't that blew my mind when I learned that.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, but I'm gonna, I'm just I this is this is the hill that I'm gonna die on, though, is that yes, they were they were like employees in the same way that um early mining communities were employees of the coal companies, they were paid in script, they were almost enslaved in the coal mining industry, which is why there was you know a great uprising and why we have unions now.
SPEAKER_00:All right, listen, I didn't say they had 401ks and like dental and shit.
SPEAKER_02:No, but I'm just saying that they were, yeah, they they may have been like employees, but they were like indentured borderline force, yes, yeah, yes, which fun fact, um, total, total side note on this. Um, and I will send you this information. I was um having uh a conversation with Scott the other day. Remember Scott from the podcast, Scott?
SPEAKER_00:Yes, okay, Kekobrahi dead mouse down exactly quarter mile long staircase.
SPEAKER_02:Um anyway, they they have uh there is it is known as the oldest um complaint letter. And this guy was in Egypt, and he was pissed at the the quality of copper that he received from this vendor, and he was so pissed that he chiseled a like complaint letter.
SPEAKER_00:That's fantastic. I'm gonna invent writing.
SPEAKER_02:And there was like there were like this one vendor, they have found several different complaint like letters chiseled. How mad do you have to be to go home and chisel a letter out in rock?
SPEAKER_00:You have any idea how mad you have to be to go home, learn how to read and write, and then learn and then get into it.
SPEAKER_02:I'm just that vendor had to be some piss poor piece of shit to make people do all of that.
SPEAKER_00:What the hell is this? What the hell is this? This is your copper. Dog, this is a bale of hay. No, it's copper. This is literally hay. This is straw. What are you talking about? Nah, it's copper. You'll be alright.
SPEAKER_02:I think even like he was like, he was like, I'll I'll tell you what, I will meet you at your shop and I will point out exactly to you why I'm saying your your whatever copper was inferior. Like it was like like I'll show up and bet, you know. Oh, it just it fucking took me out. I was like, yeah, this is the first uh Yelp review. Anyway.
SPEAKER_00:That's fantastic. That's gotta be so much more gratifying though. Because you know what people say is like you can't like angrily and like aggressively like hang up your phone now and do something about like slamming the phone going, because now you just gotta like, all right, fine, screw you.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you're gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_00:Aggressive tap. Aggressive tap. This is that one. There's has to be something, you know, say it's like, okay, if you're ever really mad about something, write it out or whatever, you know, blah blah blah, like do the thing to actually, and if you're still upset, by the time you have to physically do something, like writing something out, then it's worth your time. Then it's worth being upset about if you can actually write something out or sleep on it. If you're still thinking about it in the morning, blah blah blah. Can you imagine how angry that person must have been? Like you said, they had to get like a slab and a fucking chisel and a hammer, they had to manual labor. Yeah, in the how many bricks do you think he broke?
SPEAKER_02:Son of a breaks it.
SPEAKER_00:He's even more bad.
SPEAKER_02:On an old school typewriter, you know, like you made one mistake and uh you just had to throw the whole piece of paper out and start over again.
SPEAKER_00:Like I swear to God, if I was if I was in like the middle of the industrial revolution, if I was born then, I could say this in my whole chest. I would have been like, you know, you always hear of like, oh, they were just so finally did this one with all love and respect. I know it because all I do, if I typed one thing wrong, I'm chucking that typewriter like across the room. And I didn't give a shit what would have been in the way. If I did I get pissed when I misspelled one thing and I have to scratch it out with a pen, let alone type halfway through a page.
SPEAKER_02:Or you would be the first person to invent white out. Because you know, the for the the person invented whiteout had to be just totally just beside themselves pissed that they had to keep typing things over and over and over.
SPEAKER_00:Oh man.
SPEAKER_02:Oh god. See, we just oh, I don't even know what the original question was now.
SPEAKER_00:Uh the Native Americans banded together. Oh god. Native Americans banded together, and now I'm talking about throwing typewriters at my wife.
SPEAKER_02:And I'm talking about white out.
SPEAKER_00:There you go. That's just that's just how it goes.
SPEAKER_01:Oh man.
SPEAKER_00:Anywho, there's like there was a whole bit that I had here for like World War II what-ifs.
SPEAKER_01:Oh god. Oh god.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, they got me so oh man. I've watched arguably too many World War II documentaries. And if there's one thing that pisses me off about it, so many the the the atrocities continued for so long because so many incompetent men and so much dick measuring happened. I was like, oh the whole war is, but like Yeah. Because when I learned this one, this is the apparently there was some big literal traffic jam miles, miles long on the front because there was like one bridge or something like that of the Germans moving their forces to make the very first big push into Europe, into France. Right? Like once that happened, once they moved to the Ardennes, that's when Europe fell. Pretty much fell. And we're completely off the m-the- the bulk of it, right? There was like a literal massive traffic jam. And a s and a French reconnaissance plane sees this. Radius command is like, hey, there's a bunch of tanks here, they have German flags in them. And Command was like, nah, the Germans aren't over here. He was like, Dog, I'm literally looking at the German army right now. And he goes, nah, that's not the German army. You you're you're just crazy. The entire German army was literally just literal sitting ducks.
SPEAKER_02:Oh man.
SPEAKER_00:They were literal sitting ducks.
SPEAKER_02:What if they would have just given the command, take them out?
SPEAKER_00:What if our episodes were allowed to be longer? What if?
SPEAKER_02:What if we didn't squirrel so much?
SPEAKER_00:What if we didn't squirrel so much and spent 20 fucking minutes talking about the library at Alexandria burning down? Anywho, rabbit holes are fun to fall down every now and then. Just remember, eat me, drink me, and learn how to play croquet. What if I knew what I was? What if I actually planned my intros and outros before we recorded? What if I planned anything out before we recorded and I didn't shoot every episode from the hip?
SPEAKER_02:Pandemic red.
SPEAKER_00:And now you do your bit.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yes, my bit is thank you for listening. Uh follow us on socials. Uh continue to give us comments, share with your friends, um, and I think that's it. Honk. See, I did a honk. Oh god, here we go.
SPEAKER_00:Hotel, Oscar, November, Kilo.
SPEAKER_02:Oh God, you got me. You got me on that one.
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